
Class ^/£^23 

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DRIVEN from HOME 



A True Story of a Converted 
Jewess 



BY 

JEANETTE GEDALIUS 



SAN FRANCISCO 

DEMPSTER BROTHERS, PRINTERS AND PUBLISHERS 
Cor. Bond and Glen Park Ave. 



i of CONGRESS 
Two Copies deceived 

MAR 21 1905 

CLASS CL AAC. ftoi 

copy b. 

— — — ii . . ,i , J 



£r*A 3 



Copyrighted, 1905. 

By JEANETTE GEDAUUS. 

All rights reserved. 



JEANETTE GEDAUUS, 
939 Howard St., San Francisco, California. U. S. A. 



Dedicated to my Beloved Friends, 
For her personal interest ; 



For her love and interest in the " Lost Sheep 
of the House of Israel." 



PREFACE 



This little story of my life has not been written to arouse sym- 



pathy for myself, but as a testimony to the mighty" saving and 
keeping power of the Lord Jesus Christ, to the Jew first and also 
to the Gentile. 

Some there may be of my own people who have heard the 
voice of Him that was lifted up on Calvary to draw all men unto 
Him, yet fearing trials and persecution have not trusted Him. 
Should any fear the hardness of the way, let me assure you that 
God is faithful and His grace is sufficient for all things. 

God grant that a deeper sympathy and interest may be kindled 
in the hearts of those who love Jesus for poor blinded Israel, and 
that prayers may ever ascend to the throne of grace in their 
behalf. . 

Let us pray that the Keeper of Israel, who neither slumbers 
nor sleeps, will graciously hear the united prayers of His children 
and take away the vail of Moses from before their eyes. 



CONTENTS 



Page 

Childhood— Chapter 1 7 

My Brother and Mrs. Deike — Chapter II 21 

Conversion — Chapter III 34 

Baptism — Chapter IV 57 

Persecuted — Chapter V 63 

Enduring Hardness — Chapter VI 85 

A Prisoner at Home — Chapter VII , 98 

Driven from Home — Chapter VIII 109 

My Reception at Berlin — Chapter IX 115 

A Stranger in a Strange Land — Chapter X 123 



CHAPTER I. 

In the little town of Deutsh Eylau, Northern 
Germany, I was born. My parents, who were 
strictly orthodox Jews, lived in a cottage close by 
the Geserick Sea. Many times in early childhood 
I played upon its banks and looked out upon its 
quiet blue waters, and visions came to me of the 
outside world. In these day dreams how my heart 
bounded at thoughts of the great success which 
should crown my future life, and how vivid still are 
the pictures which hang on memory's walls ! 

I can see the quaint, narrow streets along which 
the women walk carrying water in pails suspended 
from wooden yokes resting on their shoulders. I 
hear the clanking of their wooden slippers on the 
pavements as they bear their heavy burdens from 
door to door. 

As the last woman vanishes from memory's vis- 
ion, my thoughts turn to the superstition with 
which the life of the town abounded. I see troubled 
faces, and hear the deep sighs of men and women 
bemoaning the fate of children born on Friday. 
Then I hear tales of horrible witches who hold the 
life and death of people in the hollow of their hands. 

I remember the story of my own unlucky birth, 
for I was born on Friday. Before I had reached 



8 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

the age of twelve months, my parents were im- 
pressed with a deep realization of the unhappy 
fate sure to be mine. In a severe fall I bit through 
my tongue so that the tip of the tongue was al- 
most severed. The doctor who was summoned at 
once advised that the point of the tongue should 
be removed in order to save my life, as there was 
danger of my bleeding to death, since it was im- 
possible to take stitches. It seemed that if my 
life was spared I must always be dumb. 

I can imagine the distress and sorrow of my 
poor mother; how she must have taken me within 
her loving arms and pressed me to her aching 
heart, refusing the advice of the doctor and trust- 
ing in God and nature. Her faith was rewarded; 
for, contrary to the doctor's expectation, the 
wound healed, leaving but a small scar on the 
upper part of the tongue. 

More misfortune seemed to follow me. I be- 
came the victim of a reputed witch, of which there 
were several in our neighborhood. Many and 
strange were the stories circulated about them. It 
was asserted that on June 24th at midnight the 
witches anointed themselves with a special oint- 
ment and rode upon broomsticks to the top of St. 
John's Mountain, a peak a short distance from 
the city. When all were assembled, Satan him- 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 



self joined them and gave instructions in witch- 
craft. At those meetings plans were made as to 
who should be their victims during the coming 
year. 

A feast would follow at which the most loath- 
some food would be eaten with seemingly as much 
pleasure as though it consisted of every delicacy. 
All this ended with a dance in which the brooms 
were transformed into men. People so fully be- 
lieved in witchcraft that they were in constant 
dread of witches, and feared to go near the house 
of anyone having that reputation. 

For some years we lived among Polish-speaking 
people and learned the Polish language. We 
played happily with their children, and, although 
we heard witch stories, no witches ever molested 
us. 

When I was about five years of age, however, 
my parents moved into a different locality. 
Across the street from our new home lived a re- 
puted witch. Every one avoided this woman. I 
often noticed that when people met her they would 
make the sign of the cross as soon as they had 
passed by. Although I did not know what the 
sign of the cross meant, I learned in later years 
that they hoped by crossing themselves to prevent 
the witch from doing them any harm. 



10 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

My parents, though Jews, fully believed in 
witchcraft and were very superstitious. As we 
played around, many of the neighbors would call 
us into their homes, giving us small toys and occa- 
sionally candy and nuts, and thus persuading us 
to speak to them in the Polish language. 

One day, when my sister and I were playing out 
of doors, a little girl whom we had not seen before 
drew near and asked if she might join us in our 
sport. As she was of about the same age as our- 
selves and was nicely dressed, we welcomed her 
as a playmate. She frequently came to us and 
we became much attached to her and invited her 
to share our indoor games on disagreeable days. 
One day she in turn, invited us to her home, to 
which we readily consented. Not until we had 
reached the doorstep did we realize that our little 
friend lived in the witch's home. 

At once we demanded who she was. She replied 
that the witch was her aunt and that she made 
her home with her. It was too late for retreat, for 
the little girl had the door opened for us and we 
felt impelled to go in. Her aunt was pleased to 
see us, and offered us bread and butter with a 
liberal sprinkling of sugar over it. Although fond 
of such food, we promptly refused it, for we had 
been instructed never to take food from Gentiles. 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 11 

Time passed on; fall approached and the days 
grew colder. As we were playing in the street one 
day a chilly, drizzling rain began to fall. Our 
little playmate saw us and called to us that they 
had a bright fire in the open grate and wished us 
to come in and share its warmth and comfort. 
This appealed to us, and, without obtaining our 
mother's consent, we entered Annie's home. We 
had no open grate in our home, and it was fasci- 
nating to us to see the fire and hear the crackling 
of the wood. 

Presently Annie's aunt came in with some pota- 
toes in her apron, which she buried in the hot ashes 
to roast. When they were done she took them out 
and offered them to us. They looked so tempting 
that we were unable to resist. We reasoned to 
ourselves that, since they were not cooked in a 
vessel, there could be no harm in our eating them. 

Hardly had we tasted them, when the door 
opened and our mother appeared. She saw the 
potatoes in our hands. For a moment she ap- 
peared horror-stricken. Soon, however, she recov- 
ered, and snatching the potatoes from us she took 
us home, there to receive the punishment our dis- 
obedience merited. 

More serious consequences, however, were to 
follow. During the night we were taken sick and 



12 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

before morning our poor little bodies were burn- 
ing with fever. Mother was greatly alarmed and 
naturally her first thought was that we were 
bewitched. Hence, instead of consulting a physi- 
cian she went to another reputed witch to ask her 
advice. She gave mother some instructions with 
regard to treating the disease, and warding off 
further calamity; mother returned, confirmed in 
her belief that we were under the power of the 
other witch in consequence of having eaten the 
roasted potatoes in her house, and though she fol- 
lowed the instructions of the second woman ex- 
actly, there was no improvement in our condition. 

When fatlier, who had been away from home, 
returned in answer to an urgent summons, he at 
once called a physician who pronounced the sick- 
ness a severe cold. His remedies were faithfully 
given, but we rapidly grew worse. 

In great anxiety my parents again called upon 
the witch. She repeated her assertions that we 
were the victims of witchcraft, and declared that 
the only remedy was to outwit the other witch. 
This, she confessed, she was unable to do, for she 
had not sufficient knowledge to treat the disease 
successfully. 

She recommended a woman living at a distance 
of eight miles from our home. This woman had 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 13 

the reputation of being a great witch, who pos- 
sessed the power of healing diseases caused by 
witchcraft, but she would seldom confer with 
women, so father went to see what she could do 
for us. He was told that he must under no condi- 
tion speak to any woman he might chance to meet. 
He carried with him a present for the witch and 
a bundle of clothing which we wore at the time 
we were bewitched. Upon his return the instruc- 
tions of this woman were faithfully carried out. 

I do not know what this wonderful woman said 
to him, for in everything great secrecy was ob- 
served. She had given my father nine different 
herbs from which a bath was to be prepared in 
which we were to be bathed twice a day, morning 
and evening. She had assured father that there 
was no danger and that she was fully able to break 
the spell of the other witch and check the power of 
the disease. 

Immediately upon father's return the bath was 
prepared, but dire results followed. We did not 
recover as the witch had promised, and during the 
second bath my little sister expired in mother's 
arms. Great was the grief of all for our loved one. 
For a whole week my parents sat in ashes and ate 
the bread of affliction, according to the law. 

My life hung by a slender thread and for some 



14 DRIVEN FROM HOME, 

time the heroic efforts of the physician and my 
loving mother's care seemed unavailing; but after 
two long months of suffering a change for the bet- 
ter came, and there was much rejoicing and thank- 
fulness that my life had been spared. Gradually 
health and strength returned, but during these 
months I had become a strong-willed, petted child 
accustomed to have my slightest wish gratified. 

As might perhaps be expected, I grew to have 
less confidence in witchcraft as the years passed; 
and when I was about twelve years of age an inci- 
dent occurred which showed to me the gross super- 
stitions that were commonly believed. I longed 
for the time to come when I might be able to con- 
vince the poor deluded people that such nonsense 
ought to be entirely renounced. My childish heart 
revolted at the bondage of these superstitions. 

Mrs. B., a popular Jewish lady with a family of 
daughters ranging in age from six to twenty years, 
lived in our town. Their house was very large and 
they were fond of entertaining, and on nearly 
every night in the week we gathered in their hos- 
pitable home, both old and young, assured of a 
hearty welcome and a pleasant time. One evening 
it was discovered that a little savings bank con- 
taining a few pieces of money had disappeared. 
The general belief was that it had been stolen, 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 15 

but the question was, "Who could have taken it?" 
Inquiries were at once made, as the bank was 
highly prized, but no clue was found that would 
lead to its recovery. 

An old Gentile woman, who occasionally did 
work for Mrs. B., heard about the loss and at once 
volunteered to locate the missing article. As all 
were anxious to discover the guilty one, a reward 
was promised the woman if she could detect the 
thief. An evening was set for the purpose, and a 
number of the usual guests were present. When 
all were seated the woman was called in. She 
brought with her an old song book and a large 
rusty key, an heirloom of several generations, 
which was to be tested by the oracle. All eyes 
were fixed upon the woman and her actions, the 
company waiting with bated breath. The general 
belief in such cases is that the key will swing 
about when the guilty one is mentioned. The 
woman seized the key, held it aloft, and thrice 
made the sign of the cross upon key, book and 
herself, while the family and guests began to call 
off the names of those present and the names of 
absent neighbors, but there was no sign from the 
oracle. Again the woman made the sign of the 
cross and asked questions of the oracle. I could 
keep silent no longer but burst into laughter, ex- 



16 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

claiming that we were all foolish to believe such 
nonsense, and I declared that none of the guests 
had taken the bank, for we were not thieves. 

My remarks and unconcealed mirth angered the 
woman, who warned me to beware lest the ven- 
geance of the oracle fall upon me. While having 
no fear of the oracle, I suppressed my disgust, 
for I was afraid that the old woman might do me 
harm or even brand me as the thief. Soon a third 
attempt was made, and as the key turned around 
different names were mentioned, among them 
being that of an orphan girl who lived with her 
miserly old grandmother. As soon as this name 
was spoken, the book swung around. Three times 
this was done, and each time the book moved — a 
sure sign that she was guilty. 

The poor girl, bursting into tears, declared her 
innocence, but who would believe her in the face 
of such convincing proof? It was recalled that 
only a few days previous to the loss of the bank 
she had been seen admiring it, and besides she was 
the only one of the guests who had seen it, or even 
knew of its existence. Mrs. B. and her daughters 
had no pity for the lonely girl, though those pleas- 
ant evenings at their home had been the only 
bright spots in her life. Through this incident 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 17 

she must henceforth be deprived of even such a 
simple pleasure. 

I could not believe her guilty ; and, child though 
I was, I endeavored to defend her. But the others 
were so positive of her guilt that they would not 
listen to reason, insisting that she must give up 
the stolen bank or they would have her arrested. 
In vain the girl protested her innocence; and, had 
it not been for Mrs. B.'s refusal to have an officer 
enter her home, the girl would have been arrested 
at that time. As it was, she was told to go home 
and never to let her face be seen in that home 
again. As the poor girl left the room, my heart 
went out to her in sympathy. Even now I seem to 
see her pale sad face and hear her sobs as she went 
forth from that home. 

Utterly disgusted with the whole proceeding, I 
resolved never again to mingle with those super- 
stitious people. But soon my resolution was 
broken, and I decided to go as usual, determined 
at some future time to secrete something and 
thereby ascertain for my own satisfaction whether 
the old woman could find me out in it. 

One Sunday evening a number of guests had 
gathered in the pleasant parlors and when I en- 
tered were already engaged in various games. The 
chairs in the room were all occupied and I was 



18 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

told to step into an adjoining room for a chair. 
As I glanced abont the apartment my eyes rested 
upon a small purse lying on the bed. Instantly 
the thought flashed into my mind that now was the 
opportunity to test the Gentile woman's power; 
so, taking the purse, I put it in my pocket and re- 
turned with a chair to the other room. 

I was relieved when we dispersed, for the secret 
had begun to weigh heavily upon my mind. Dur- 
ing the night I could not sleep, so impatient was 
I to learn whether or not the loss had been dis- 
covered. As soon as school was out the following 
day, I hastened to the home of Mrs. B. Sure 
enough the purse was missing, but no one could 
imagine who could have been so unkind as to steal 
from them. Whoever had taken it must have en- 
tered the bedroom, and they were at a loss to know 
who it could have been. I suggested that it might 
be well to consult the old woman who had discov- 
ered the thief on the former occasion, and I was so 
eager and anxious to learn what she could do that 
I offered to go for her. The woman promised to 
come as soon as she could, though I had begged 
her to come at once with me. 

The time of waiting seemed long, but at last she 
appeared, her book and key carefully wrapped in 
a handkerchief, and on her face a grave, solemn 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 19 

look. As soon as possible she arranged the key and 
book as before. We all stood round about her, 
and, though I had little faith in her charms, my 
heart beat fast and my hands trembled violently 
when one by one the names were mentioned of all 
who had been present the previous night. Still 
the book remained perfectly motionless. Then I 
spoke the name of the girl who had been accused 
of taking the bank, and immediately the book 
swung around, not once only but three times. 
The woman triumphantly held up her book and 
key, declaring that her heirloom never failed her, 
and saying, "You can see for yourselves that the 
girl is a thief. She stole the bank not long since 
and now is in possession of the purse." 

In spite of proof of the girl's innocence, the 
woman insisted that she was guilty. My friends 
said they knew she had not taken it, for she had 
not been in the house since she had left it in dis- 
grace. Calmly I declared that I was positive of 
her innocence, yet I dared not tell all, as I had 
thrown away the purse. 

Another prevalent superstition was that when 
an article of clothing had been stolen, the thief 
could be found by burying a piece of the cloth if 
any scraps could be found. It was believed that, 
as soon as the cloth began to decay, being buried 



20 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

in a grave with a corpse, the body of the thief 
would also decay and death would soon follow. 
So fully was this believed, and so intense was the 
fear of the terrible results, that often the mere 
rumor of resorting to such means was sufficient to 
insure the return of the stolen property. 

At one time clothing was taken from our home 
and a certain person was suspected, though there 
was no proof of her guilt. My mother spoke of her 
intention of burying a piece of the cloth, taking 
care that this person should hear of it. This 
threat had the desired effect, for the next day the 
clothes rolled in a bundle were found on our door- 
steps. 

Often have I looked back to that time of black 
superstition and realized the meaning of the words 
of the prophet, "Behold the darkness shall cover 
the earth, and gross darkness the people." 
(Isaiah lx, 2.) 



CHAPTER II. 

In the face of the existing superstition there 
was little known about the religion of Christ. The 
Roman Catholic Church, with her gross idolatry, 
had full sway, having shrines and images located 
on the public roads. The Lutheran Church, 
though without shrines or pictures, also failed to 
uphold the banner of Jesus Christ. On Sunday 
morning Catholics and Lutherans could be seen at 
church. After the services they would freely visit 
the saloons, many of them becoming drunk; quar- 
rels and disturbances would follow, disgracing the 
Christian's sacred day. Dance halls were wide open 
and beer gardens flourished. Jews living in the town 
had nothing in common with Christians, dealing 
with them in business affairs only. They enjoyed 
their own amusements, attended the synagogue, 
and educated their children in a Hebrew school. 

Until of a certain age Jewish children were in- 
structed by a Rabbi in elementary things, and 
their studies were completed in the public school 
with Gentile children. My mother dreaded the 
time when she must send her children to the pub- 
lic school, as she knew what indignities we would 
suffer at the hand of these children, because of our 
being Jews, or, as they termed it, "Christ Killers." 

My brother and I entered the local school, where 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 



unfortunately the children were mostly Gentile; 
and in those first days we were made the targets 
of their derision and hatred, but patiently we bore 
the spiteful things said and done. Through hard 
study and outward serenity we won the favor of 
our teachers and many friends from among our 
classmates. Still, what a storm of hatred and bit- 
terness raged in my heart against them and their 
religion! It seemed to me nothing but a persecu- 
tion of our people. 

The mother of one of my classmates had 
become a Christian and had joined the Baptist 
Church, being the only person in our town belong- 
ing to this denomination. She became the object 
of much persecution at the hands of those who 
claimed to be Christians, because she had left the 
Lutheran Church. Her daughter and I became 
close friends, as did also our brothers. We often 
went to their home where they had a large play- 
ground and a fine fruit orchard. There we studied 
our lessons, afterwards enjoying play and fun. 

The mother, Mrs. Deike, often joined us and we 
grew to love her very dearly. She was indeed a 
Christian whose life was fully consecrated to the 
Lord. As we became better acquainted, she began 
in a simple, loving way to tell us of Jesus, the 
promised Messiah, the King of the Jews. It was a 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 23 

sweet story and new to us. We listened eagerly 
as she spoke of Him who had come as the fulfill- 
ment of all the Old Testament prophecies in which 
our people believed. Up to this time we had not 
known the difference between Eoman Catholics, 
Lutherans or Baptists. All to us were alike. All 
were idolaters. The followers of Jesus, no matter 
what their name, we classed as heathen whose 
chief object in life was the persecution of the Jews. 
Our people had received no love or sympathy from 
these so-called Christians; and now, for the first 
time, we heard that Jesus came to save the Jews 
and not to persecute them. 

We were very fond of Mrs. Deike and loved to 
listen to her, but this was all so strange that we 
could not believe it. I was not given to argument, 
but my brother, who was two years my senior, 
argued much with her, telling her that it was 
impossible for Jesus to be the Son of God, the Sav- 
iour of mankind. But she was not discouraged 
and patiently she tried in every way to convince 
us of the divinity of Christ. Finally my brother 
told her that our religion was far superior to hers ; 
quietly she replied that she read the same Bible and 
that it was her only guide. But to this he invari- 
ably replied, "O yes, your Bible is so constructed 



24 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

that the Old may fit the new Testament, and the 
New the Old." 

At last, however, he was persuaded to get a 
Hebrew Bible with German translation from the 
Rabbi, so that they might compare Bibles. My 
brother brought his book to Mrs. Deike and a most 
diligent comparison began. The Bibles were found 
to be in everything the same, and my brother be- 
came intensely interested and began to study the 
Word of God. He came to the 53d of Isaiah, and 
read of the Messiah : 

"He is despised and rejected of men ; a man of 
sorrows and acquainted with grief; and we hid as 
it were our faces from Him ; He was despised and 
we esteemed Him not." 

"Surely He hath borne our griefs and carried 
our sorrows: yet we did esteem Him stricken, 
smitten of God, and afflicted. 

"But He was wounded for our transgressions, 
He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastise- 
ment of our peace was upon Him; and with His 
stripes we are healed." 

He stopped and asked, "What does this mean? 
Who is it? Who has borne our griefs? Who was 
wounded for our transgressions?" 

"It is Jesus of Nazaareth whom you hate and 
despise," was Mrs. Deike's reply. 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 25 

Prom that moment my brother began to see the 
light in Christ Jesus, and he accepted Him as his 
personal Saviour. He was then not quite thirteen 
years old, and he told no one of the family of his 
new-found faith. The time for his confirmation 
(or Bar Mitzwah) was at hand, when he was to 
become a son of the law, and he went through the 
ceremonies, although in secret he was a Christian. 

Not long after this he was apprenticed to a Jew- 
ish merchant who had a large iron business in a 
town about forty-eight miles from home. He was 
a very strict orthodox Jew. It was agreed that my 
brother should remain there for three years. 
After his departure I continued to visit the Deike 
family, but they soon moved into the country on a 
farm about twelve miles from town. The friendly 
ties were severed, and the teachings of that saintly 
woman completely forgotten for a time, as no last- 
ing impression had been made on my heart. Two 
years swiftly passed by, during which I was occu- 
pied with my studies. Then my brother returned 
home for a visit. It was a red-letter day with our 
family, and as he was my favorite brother we 
spent much time together during these happy vaca- 
tion days. He had been at home a week when one 
day I met Mrs. Deike and told her of his arrival. 
She was pleased and readily accepted my invita- 



26 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

tion for her to call. I thought my brother would 
be especially pleased to see her, but I was sadly 
disappointed; for, as soon as he saw us approach- 
ing he immediately left the room, I wondered at 
this action because he had been greatly attached to 
her. My parents were very glad to see her and 
after a time my brother was persuaded to come in. 
He spoke to her, but all could see that his welcome 
was far from being hearty. 

Mrs. Deike told us of her beautiful home in the 
country and how much they all enjoyed being 
there. I was intensely interested, for I had never 
been in the country and I expressed a desire to see 
it. Thereupon she invited my brother and myself 
to spend a few days with her, promising to send a 
team for us if we would appoint a day. Our par- 
ents objected to the visit and made many excuses 
for not letting us go, but she finally persuaded 
them, and they consented to let us go for a day or 
two, providing she would give us nothing to eat 
which was not allowed by our religion. She prom- 
ised not to give us anything but eggs, bread, butter 
and milk. In order that there should be no possi- 
bility of defilement, Mrs. Deike advised us to carry 
with us a little kettle in which to boil the eggs and 
milk for our use. 

I was full of joy at the prospect of a visit to the 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 27 

country, but my brother was not so enthusiastic. 
Indeed, he had promised to go merely to gratify 
me. At last the eventful day dawned, a bright, 
beautiful spring day. We started early in the 
morning, walking through the woods, listening to 
the happy song of birds. We had planned to meet 
Mr. Deike, but he had forgotten to send the team 
for us, thinking we were to come another day. We 
walked on watching for the team, but none ap- 
peared. 

It seemed a long distance those twelve miles, but 
we walked bravely on, talking as we went, for we 
had much to say to each other after our long sep- 
aration. Toward the end of our walk we became 
tired and often sat down by the wayside. After 
going through the eight miles of forest and while 
going through the fields with but two more miles 
before us, my brother suddenly stopped and said, 
"Don't let us go on ; let us turn back and go home." 

I was much surprised at this remark and won- 
dered what had come over him, but I said that we 
had better hasten on. We did so, but soon were 
obliged to sit down again to rest. Sitting with our 
hands clasped in each others, he tried to persuade 
me not to go on, but to give up the trip, assuring 
me with tears in his eyes that it was wrong for 
Jews to mingle with Gentiles, or to' have any inter- 



28 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

course with them. "We shall surely come to 
grief," he said, "if we proceed on our journey and 
venture into danger." 

But I would not listen to him, being determined 
to see the farm, and I felt too weary to walk back 
those long miles. I fully agreed with him that we 
should not associate too freely with the Gentiles, 
but could see no harm in making a short visit in a 
Gentile home. I insisted that since we had gone 
so far we ought not to turn back, and although 
very tired I went on and he was compelled to fol- 
low. His face looked grave and troubled. For 
the last time he begged me to turn back, but I 
would not, and only laughed at him. 

Oh, had I but known what would happen and 
foreseen the future! Surely I would not have 
laughed at him, neither would I have crossed a 
Gentile's threshold. 

How often in after days did I wring my hands 
in agony and curse my obstinate will for thus put- 
ting my brother in the power of Satan, as I imag- 
ined I had done ! God in His mercy did not reveal 
to me the future, and I became the instrument in 
His hand of leading my brother on to the greatest 
blessing, though unconscious of the fact. 

As we drew near to the farm, my brother said, 
"Now as we are to be the guests of Gentiles and 



DRIVEN FROM HOME, 29 

are to remain with them over night, let us be care- 
ful what we say and do. Be sure not to forget to 
wash your hands the first thing in the morning 
and say your prayers." I faithfully promised to 
do so, and assured him that so far I had never for- 
gotten to do my duty. Our parents were very 
strict in the observance of the law, particularly in 
regard to the washing of hands. This had to be 
done the first thing in the morning before we were 
fully dressed. The water was poured three times 
over the hands and face, a little prayer was said, 
and then we finished dressing and made ready for 
breakfast. 

Brother also requested me to remain near him 
all the time, not leaving him alone with Mrs. Deike 
or any of the family. This I promised also to do, 
though I wondered why he was afraid to have 
them talk to him in private. I hesitated about 
asking him for fear of offending him, but his 
clouded face brightened when I had given the 
promise. 

Soon we came in sight of the whitewashed farm 
house. Even the smoke curling out of the chimney 
seemed beckoning us to a place where rest and re- 
freshment awaited us. We were warmly welcomed 
by Mrs. Deike, who apologized for her forgetful- 
ness and neglect in not sending a wagon to meet 



30 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

us. In a short time our fatigue was forgotten as we 
sat in an arbor eating with appetites of healthy 
children a repast consisting of bread, butter, milk, 
and eggs. 

As soon as we were rested, forgetting my 
brother's request, I ran off to play with the girls 
and to see all the wonderful things on the farm. 
We had so much to talk about that I could not 
bear to waste any time. The farm yard was thor- 
oughly explored, where I found many things of 
interest to a city girl. Among them I saw a pen of 
seven little pigs which were a source of delight 
to my companions, but to me they seemed rather 
disgusting, for at home we had been taught never 
to look upon a pig. If we could not avoid so doing 
we must spit upon the ground as a sign of our 
disgust at the sight. 

Suddenly I remembered the promise given to my 
brother, and without any explanation to the girls, 
I rushed to the arbor where I had left him alone 
with Mrs. Deike. I found them so absorbed in 
conversation that they did not notice my approach. 
She was holding my brother's hands, and I could 
see the tears rolling down his cheeks. 

Fearing that some one had hurt his feelings, I 
walked up to them and demanded to know the cause 
of his tears, saying that if they hurt my brother 



/ 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 31 

we should go home immediately, even if we had to 
walk the entire distance. Neither of them gave 
me any satisfaction or enlightened me as to the 
cause of his sorrow. Not until later did I learn 
the truth. My brother had been a Christian all 
these years, though he had been afraid to confess it. 
Since leaving home he had been associated with 
Jewish people, going with them to the synagogue 
on the holy days and on the Jewish Sabbath. 
Though apparently a Jew, in his heart he was a 
Christian, and his soul was stayed on Christ. Dur- 
ing the two years he and Mrs. Deike had kept up a 
correspondence, through which she constantly en- 
couraged him in his Christian life and faith. 

One of her letters had become mislaid and had 
been found by my brother's employer, who did not 
hesitate to read it; and great was the indignation 
of the Jewish merchant when he discovered that 
an inmate of his household was a believer in Jesus 
Christ, the hanged Nazarene. When my brother 
was taken to task and ordered to deny the claims 
of Jesus, he frankly admitted that he was a Chris- 
tian and that all his hopes were centered upon the 
Christ. 

Upon hearing this, the man became so enraged 
that he slapped my brother's face and threatened 



32 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

to send for his parents to acquaint them with the 
news. 

The poor boy was very much frightened; for he 
felt that he could not yet meet his parents and de- 
clare to them that he had found the Messiah, so he 
promised his employer that if he would not inform 
his parents that he would discontinue the corre- 
spondence with Mrs. Deike, and would no longer 
read the New Testament, He was compelled to give 
up his Bible, which was torn into small pieces. He 
afterward found some whole leaves which he con- 
cealed beneath his clothes in his trunk. 

Mrs. Deike's letters remained unanswered, and 
his faith decreased until he became once more an 
orthodox Jew. This was the reason why he did not 
like to meet Mrs. Deike and have a personal con- 
versation with her ; but that day v/hen she inquired 
concerning his Christian life he broke down and 
confessed that he had denied his Lord and Master. 

He began anew, his faith in Christ was renewed, 
and his love rekindled. He promised that at what- 
ever cost he would be true to the Lord Jesus; and 
when his apprenticeship was finished he would 
openly confess Him in baptism. He kept this prom- 
ise, and all these years has continued a faithful 
follower of Christ. 

The next day we returned home, Mrs. Deike's 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 33 

team carrying us within a mile of home, and as we 
walked the remaining distance we exchanged 
thought in regard to the Christian religion. While 
my brother said nothing about his personal faith 
in Christ, he spoke very kindly of Christianity. 

I had been deeply interested in the family wor- 
ship, both night and morning, and although noth- 
ing was said to us about Christ, I was much im- 
pressed with the beauty of such simple household 
meetings for reading the Bible and prayer. The 
scene was indellibly fixed, and I could not forget 
it, much as I wished to do so. 



CHAPTER III. 

My brother soon left home to complete his busi- 
ness training. After an absence of one year he re- 
turned, making our family circle once more com- 
plete. During the following two months he twice 
visited the Deike family; once with the consent of 
our parents, the other time without it, father hav- 
ing forbidden him to go there again, saying: "A 
Gentile house is not a place for a Jew." 

As time moved on it was thought advisable to 
secure a position for him as clerk in a store. A 
number of places were open to him, but he did not 
accept any of them. 

About this time the feast of the first fruits of in- 
gathering or Pentecost was to take place. This 
occurs seven weeks after the Passover. For some 
reason my father was away from home for the feast 
days. 

On the second day of the feast my brother re- 
ceived a letter. After reading it he said : "Mother, 
I have an offer of a good position, and I believe I 
ought to accept it at once. If I take it, there will 
be no time to lose, hence I must leave to-morrow." 
Usually he read his letters to the family, but this 
one, after reading, he tucked away in his pocket. 
This aroused mother's suspicions, and she decided 
to find out why he so carefully guarded the letter. 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 35 

Early the next morning she came to my bedside 
and awaking me said, "Be quiet, here is something 
I want you to read for me." I quickly arose, and 
took brother's letter from her hand. Upon opening 
it I was astonished to find that it was not a business 
letter, but from a friend, urging him to stand by 
his faith in Jesus Christ, to make an open profes- 
sion even though it might mean the forsaking of 
everything for Him. 

The writer of this letter had been a University 
student, who had been led to see his lost condition, 
and to trust only in Jesus Christ for salvation. He 
had left the university and had earned his living 
as a common workman in an iron mill. After 
speaking of the sacrifices he himself had been called 
to make through becoming a Christian, he, the son 
of a Eabbi, told of his conversion, and of his faith 
in the promised Messiah, also how he had been dis- 
owned by his parents and ostracised by all his for- 
mer friends. He wrote : "I have found in Jesus a 
friend that sticketh closer than a brother ;" and con- 
cluded by saying : "God has been good to me. He 
has guided me through the storms of life, and now 
I am preaching the blessed Gospel of Jesus." 

He lived in a distant city, about one hundred 
miles from our home, and urged my brother to 
come to him. As my eyes glanced over the pages, 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 



it seemed that my blood turned cold and my heart 
almost ceased beating, as I realized that my brother, 
our oldest and best beloved, was being urged to 
believe in the despised Nazarene. It seemed im- 
possible that he could even think of becoming a 
Christian. I was much alarmed, but did not read 
the letter to mother; but I told her under no con- 
dition to allow the boy to leave, as the place where 
he intended to go was unsuitable for him, excusing 
my action by saying that the writing was so poor 
I was unable to read it. Poor mother believed me, 
and restored the letter to its place. 

We went back to bed, but sleep had departed 
from me. Constantly before me I could only see the 
words, "Believe and trust only in Jesus." 

It was a cruel blow to me to think that my be- 
loved brother should be entreated to believe in a 
traitor, for such I considered Jesus Christ. In 
vain I racked my brain for any motive that could 
impel him to such a course. I still hoped there was 
a mistake somewhere; I could not believe that my 
brother could so far forget himself as to bring dis- 
grace upon his family by becoming a follower of 
"the hanged one." For this reason I refrained from 
telling mother. 

That morning he was to accompany mother to 
the synagogue, but on some pretext I kept him at 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 37 

home, and mother went alone. Then I told him why 
I had kept him. As soon as I mentioned the letter 
his face became white and he began to tremble and 
was unable to answer the questions I poured thick 
and fast upon him. As I saw his embarrassment, 
belief in his guilt was confirmed, and I cursed him 
in downright Jewish fashion, threatening to tell 
mother and promising dire punishment for ever en- 
tertaining ideas of heathenism. 

When I at last gave him a chance to speak, he 
tried to explain why he believed in Jesus as the 
Saviour. As he mentioned the name of Jesus I put 
my fingers in my ears and screamed as loudly as 
possible in order to drown his voice, for I did not 
want to hear anything about Him. 

I told him that he was no brother of mine, and 
added, "you will soon be an outcast from our home, 
for I am determined to tell mother everything when 
she returns." He put his arms around my neck and 
pleaded, "Please don't be angry with me, Jeanette, 
and don't say anything to mother until after I have 
gone." 

His pleading touched my heart, and I promised 
to say nothing if he would consent to remain at 
home until a more suitable position was found for 
him. Our conversation was interrupted, and dur- 
ing the remainder of the day there was no oppor- 



3S DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

tunity for us to be alone. The next morning, as 
the holy days were over, I went back to school, cau- 
tioning mother not to let brother leave home. She 
had no idea why I so strongly insisted upon his re- 
maining, but supposed it was because of my fond- 
ness for him. 

All that morning my thoughts were at home with 
my brother, I could hardly wait for the closing bell 
to ring, but as soon as it did I laid aside my books 
and hastened home to find the house empty and 
my brother gone from home never to return. 

A feeling of desolation came over me as I realized 
that I had lost a brother, who would never again be 
the same to us, but must be considered as one dead. 

My first impulse was to tell my parents what I 
knew; but on second thought J decided to say noth- 
ing until I had heard from him, all the time hoping 
he would not bring disgrace upon us by becoming 
a Meshumed (turncoat). For two weeks I waited 
for news of him. He wrote home, but from the let- 
ters I could obtain no information in regard to his 
actions. Finally the suspense became unbearable, 
and I wrote to Mr. Curant, the minister, for I had 
kept his name and address in mind since reading 
his letter to my brother. ( This earnest man, by the 
way, is still preaching in Bromberg, Germany.) 

I asked him what he had done with my brother, 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 7 39 



and whether he could not have found other victims 
for his religion without stealing my brother from 
his home and making a Meshumed of him. I also 
demanded: "How much money did you pay my 
brother for coming to you, and how much would 
you pay me to make me a Christian?" I accepted 
the current opinion that for every Jewish convert 
a large sum of money was paid. 

That bitter, sarcastic letter was written with the 
expectation that the minister would relent and in- 
duce my brother to return to us. But I was greatly 
mistaken, for, instead of my brother's return I re- 
ceived a letter from him, telling me of his baptism 
and his great joy in his new-found faith. He said : 
"The only sorrow I have is that my dear ones at 
home do not share my joy and happiness," and he 
assured me that neither he nor the minister had 
been paid any money, adding, "No one is benefited 
by my baptism except myself. Christians do not_ 
buy souls, as you think." 

It was a terrible blow, for no greater disgrad 
could be imagined to a Jewish family than for one 
of its members to become a Meshumed. I had heard 
of such things, but had never dreamed that such 
a calamity could happen to our family, for we had 
been raised very carefully in the Jewish faith, our 
parents priding themselves upon the fact that their 



40 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

ancestors had all been strictly orthodox in religion. 
It seemed impossible that he, the oldest son, had 
left the true fold, for never before had a member 
of their family gone astray, for was not he the one 
upon whom our parents depended to say *caddish, 
after they were gone to be with Abraham, Isaac and 
Jacob? 

I read and reread the letter, but there it was 
plainly written, "I have been baptized." There could 
be no mistake. First sorrow, then anger entered my 
heart. I tore the letter into small pieces and threw 
them away, but my mother seeing what I did com- 
manded me to tell her what it meant. 

I told her all I knew, and never shall I forget 
the expression on her face and her agonizing- 
shrieks when I told her that her boy, her pride, 
had become a Meshumed. She declared again and 
again that it could not be true. O how glad I would 
have been to have been able to tell her that it was 
a mistake; but alas! it was only too true that it 
was her own boy. No one but God knew what my 
mother suffered; she did not seem to care to live 
and bear the reproach of having one of her family 
renounce the religion of his fathers. But still 
greater sorrow was in store for her. 

For a while after I told her it seemed that reason 

*A prayer for the dead. 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 41 

left her; she tore her hair and threw herself upon 
the floor and prayed that God might show her 
mercy, and send back her erring boy; but her 
prayer was never answered. So terrible was her 
grief that within a few weeks her hair turned 
white. Three times a week she fasted, to every 
beggar she gave alms; at night she stood by the 
open window, stretchings forth her hands toward 
heaven, beseeching God to restore her child to her. 

Mother and I guarded our secret carefully so 
that no member of our family should learn of the 
calamity that had befallen us. Mother often asked 
me, "Why did he forsake the God of his fathers? 
What possible object could he have had in view?" 
I could not tell her, for I had not been in his con- 
fidence, and, though I told her I knew not, she 
would not believe me. 

One day, as she was plying me with questions and 
was very persistent in her demands as to why he 
had given up Judaism, I grew weary and told her 
not to ask me again, and added, "The only one who 
can answer your questions is Mrs. Deike. If you 
wish, I am willing to see her and find out all I can." 

As a drowning man grasps at a straw, mother 
seized at this ray of hope, and insisted on my going 
at once to Mrs. Deike's home. I had little confi- 
dence in my mission, for I believed that Mrs. Deike 



42 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

had drawn him to her religion, and would not dis- 
close to ine her object in so doing. Yet I wished to 
see her, to make her ashamed of herself, and to 
have the satisfaction of denouncing her as one who 
had betrayed the confidence of our parents. 

It was a long, lonely walk and my soul was full 
of hatred. After the weary journey when the 
whitewashed cottage again appeared in sight, hot 
tears coursed down my cheeks, and I cursed it and 
its inmates. Though only a child, I felt most keenly 
the disgrace which had come upon us. 

I reached the house both footsore and heart sore. 
I had resolved to show no emotion in the presence 
of the family, but hardly had I stepped inside the 
door than I sank down on a footstool near the en- 
trance and began to sob as though my heart would 
break. Soon the family gathered about me won- 
dering what had brought me there and inquiring 
the cause of my distress. 

I could not answer, but turned at once to Mrs. 
Deike, asking rapidly, "What have you done with 
my brother? Why did you steal him from us? 
What harm have my parents done you, that you 
have treated them so unkindly?" My well planned 
speech was forgotten and I uttered words of which 
I had never thought before, for my heart was filled 
Avith bitterness and hatred. She seemed to under- 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 43 

stand my thoughts and began at once to speak of 
the love of Jesus. I interrupted her by saying, "I 
want to hear nothing about your God, I did not 
come for that, but to find out why my brother has 
become interested in your God and taken a fancy to 
your religion." She answered, "It is no fancy on 
his part, but a real faith in the promised Messiah, 
and he had no worldy object in view, but desired 
only his soul's salvation." 

I could not and would not believe anything she 
said and felt that my weary journey had been in 
vain. I had promised my mother not to touch any- 
thing belonging to a Gentile; so, declining any re- 
freshments and the kind invitation to stay over 
night, I started on my homeward journey. They 
had kindly offered to hitch up the team and take 
me home, but I would not accept any favors from 
these Gentiles, preferring to walk. 

I was exceedingly tired and hardly able to walk, 
but my will was so strong that I would not listen 
to reason. Hardly half a mile had been traveled 
when my strength gave out and I sat down crying 
bitterly. Now I realized that I had not sufficient 
strength for that twelve mile walk. Even if I had, 
it would have been impossible to reach home that 
night, for it was already late in the afternoon. I 
was afraid to return to the farm house, lest I should 



44 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

commit a great sin. In my misery and loneliness I 
sat there blaming and cursing my brother for all 
the trouble he had caused us. 

Time passed rapidly, the shadows of night ap- 
peared, and my fear and alarm increased. What 
was I to do? In my distress I prayed for help and 
guidance, the first prayer in my life that was offered 
from my heart, though from early childhood I had 
been taught prayers from the prayer book. Never 
before had I felt the need of praying to God from 
the depth of my own heart. As I lifted up my soul 
and voice to God, an unusual calm came over me, 
and I had the full assurance of the great Jehovah's 
help. From that time to the present moment I 
know that He has been and still is with me. Jesus 
answered my cry for help that day, although I de- 
spised Him and did not believe that He was the 
Redeemer of the world and my Saviour. 

After that prayer, I decided to go back to Mrs. 
Deike's and remain there over night. When I 
reached there, no one said anything regarding my 
brother or his religion. I was invited to partake of 
bread, eggs and milk. I refused all but the milk, 
which I drank, eating what remained of the dry 
bread I had brought for lunch on the way. 

During the evening we walked to the summit of a 
high hill. It was a beautiful, balmy summer even- 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 45 

ing, not a sound was heard save the rustling of the 
wind through the leaves. Mrs. Deike and her 
daughters began to sing. Their voices blended beau- 
tifully, and never shall I forget the impression of 
that night, and the holy awe that stole over me, 
when they sang, "The Home Over There." 

At last I interrupted them to ask, "What do you 
expect over there? Do you expect to go to Abra- 
ham's bosom?" 

Mrs. Deike promptly answered, "Indeed, we are 
going there to meet our blessed Jesus." 

"There will be no Jesus there," I said, "neither 
can you go there, for no Gentile has any claim or 
right to be with Abraham, Isaac or Jacob. Only the 
Jews will have a place prepared for them." 

She kept perfectly calm, but insisted that both 
Jew and Gentile who believed in the Son of God 
should meet where Abraham, Isaac and Jacob are. 

"But God has no Son," I declared. "All who 
worship Jesus are idolaters and have no conception 
of the great Jehovah, the God of the Jews." 

She assured me that Christians did not worship 
idols, but I called her attention to the many images 
and shrines I had passed that very day. I had seen 
men remove their caps and make the sign of the 
cross, and had noticed women gliding on to their 
knees before the images. 



46 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

"All that you tell me is a fact," she said, "but 
such religion is not true Christianity." 

Until late at night we continued our argument, 
I trying to convince her that only the Jews had 
the true religion, and that they alone were true wor- 
shippers of the great Jehovah. But my arguments 
grew weaker. She seemed to have the stronger 
side. 

Before we retired for the night, Mrs. Deike read 
a chapter from the Bible and offered prayer in 
which she included me. I cannot describe my sen- 
sations at the mention of my name before the 
throne of grace, but I know that a new feeling came 
over me, a longing for something which I did not 
possess. I could not sleep. My thoughts were of 
my brother, and the new things I had heard that 
evening. Sometimes I felt that I must leave the 
house at once in the stillness of the night and go 
home, but my fear of the dark, dense forest kept me 
where I was. Toward morning I fell into a restless 
sleep, and it was late when I awoke. 

Before leaving the room I repeated my Jewish 
prayer in all sincerity, and resolved not to listen 
to Mrs. Deike if she should speak again about Chris- 
tianity. As I was about to open the door I heard 
a voice speaking. At the mention of my own name 
I stopped to listen ; Mrs. Deike was praying, "Heav- 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 



CD 



enly Father, have mercy on the child, show her 
that Thou lovest her, help her to accept Jesus as her 
friend and Saviour." 

When I heard these words I became very angry. 
Without delay I opened the door and said, "Don't 
mention my name to your Jesus. I will have noth- 
ing to do with Him." No one answered; I then 
left the room greatly annoyed with myself for thus 
giving away to temper. I stood at the door consid- 
ering what to do, and the temptation came to me 
to run away without seeing any one, but that 
seemed so discourteous that I abandoned the idea. 
I was ashamed of my conduct, but did not feel that 
I ought to apologize as I considered it my duty to 
defend myself. 

As I stood there alone feeling wretched, an arm 
stole around me and a gentle voice said, "I wish I 
could lead you to the fountain of life where there is 
peace and rest for the weary." It was Mrs. Deike, 
and her voice was so tender and pleading that my 
heart melted. Still I begged her never to say an- 
other word to me about Jesus. "I never can be- 
lieve as you do," I cried. "We have suffered enough 
already through His name. It has brought sorrow 
and shame to our family, and we have lost a dearly 
beloved one. I cannot believe that the great 



48 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

Jehovah will pardon such sin as taking him from 
us." 

She did not answer, but urged me to have some- 
thing to eat before leaving. The horses were wait- 
ing to take me home. 

As I bade them "good-bye," Mrs. Deike put into 
my hand a New Testament, saying: "Bead it and 
compare it with the Old Testament." She had been 
so kind that I could not refuse to take the little 
book; but I knew that if I took it home and my 
mother learned that I had it she would destroy it, 
and I should receive severe punishment. I told Mrs. 
Deike of my fear, but said that if she could cover 
it so that no one would recognize it I would take it. 
She then took the cover from a book of fables and 
put it on my New Testament. 

My mother had been very anxious about me. 
When within two miles of home I sent the team 
back, as I could easily walk the remaining distance. 
As soon as I came in sight my mother started out 
to meet me. Her first question was, "What did you 
find out?" I had learned nothing that could give 
her any satisfaction, but told her exactly what Mrs. 
Deike had said. When I mentioned the name of 
Jesus she became so angry that she boxed my ears 
and ordered me to say no more. 

Until that time mother and I had shared our 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 49 

mutual sorrow, but now we drifted apart. My 
brother's name was never mentioned between us. I 
was left much alone, and all my spare time was 
spent in reading the New Testament. Often I took 
it to the banks of the little sea and read and pon- 
dered over its teachings and dreamed. 

I became more and more interested in the stories 
1 read about Jesus, and at last I became convinced 
that He was the Son of God. Now the struggle be- 
gan, I saw Jesus in a different light ; but to believe 
in Him as a Saviour seemed almost impossible. 
How could I change my faith? Hoav could I bring 
disgrace upon my family and break my mother's 
heart? "No, never," was my resolve. 

Not long could I resist the pleading of the Spirit. 
The truth had crept into my heart, and I had to 
submit my proud, strong will to the mercy of God. 
The victory was not won without a fierce conflict 
and intense pain, but His grace was sufficient for 
me. As soon as I found that Jesus was the One of 
whom the Prophets had spoken, the strife in my 
soul increased. I became restless and unhappy, and 
vainly endeavored to interest myself in other things. 

Weeks passed, but no peace entered my soul. I 
continued at school, but instead of keeping up with 
my classes I fell behind. My teachers complained 
of my neglect ; but, touched by my distress and un- 



50 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

happiness, they had compassion on me and attrib- 
uted it to ill-health. Such a longing for peace and 
rest took hold of me that I could no longer endure 
it; and at last I decided to go to Mrs. Deike for 
help, and left one morning, not daring to ask my 
mother's permission. How different were my feel- 
ings from those of my first visit with my brother ! 
Then I was full of joyful anticipations; now all was 
changed, and a dark cloud rested upon our family ; 
disgrace must be our portion when the secret be- 
came known that my brother had become a "turn- 
coat," and now even I was troubled, my conscience 
was stricken, and I knew not what to do. 

I sat down on a mile-stone. My soul cried out in 
agony to God for help. While sitting there a man 
passed, who, upon seeing my tears, inquired where 
I came from and whether I had lost my way. I 
was frightened and started to run; but the man 
followed, overtaking me. He repeated his ques- 
tions, speaking kindly and offering me a piece of 
black bread from his pocket, thinking I was crying 
from hunger. I took the bread, not because I wanted 
it, but for fear of offending him. As soon as he 
was out of sight I threw it away. When I reached 
my destination my friends were surprised to see 
me, but were very considerate. Mrs. Deike, instead 
of asking questions, spoke comforting words. 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 51 

That evening which I spent with them made me 
somewhat happier ; still, I conld not yet believe that 
Jesus was the only one who could give peace to my 
troubled soul. I feared to go home, dreading pun- 
ishment. Mrs. Deike, however, promised to ac- 
company me, and act as mediator between my pa- 
rents and myself. Her kind intentions, however, 
when carried out the next day only made matters 
worse. She was coldly received, my mother giving 
her to understand that future visits would be un- 
welcome. 

As soon as she had taken her departure mother's 
wrath burst forth. She took me to task for going 
to that cursed woman, and asked me if I also wanted 
to become a "turncoat." My only answer was a flood 
of tears. My mother, blinded by anger, seized a 
piece of wood and beat me unmercifully. The pain 
from one blow on the elbow was so sharp that I fell 
to the floor crying, "My elbow is broken." Mother's 
wrath subsided at once, and she became greatly 
frightened. She raised me up and carried me to a 
couch where she examined my arm, which to her 
joy she found unbroken. With tears streaming 
down her cheeks she clasped me in her arms and 
asked my pardon for her cruelty. As she gazed 
upon me we wept together, for I knew she loved me 



52 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

tenderly and only overcome by rage had she so far 
forgotten herself. 

When she saw the marks upon my body she said 
it was all my fault because I had gone to that 
woman who had already caused us so much trouble. 
Upon thinking it over it seemed that we had enough 
sorrow without my adding to it, so I resolved to 
throw away the New Testament and never again 
think of Jesus. While the marks of the blows re- 
mained upon my body I kept these vows. But when 
entirely recovered, my thoughts again turned to 
the Testament which I had tucked away among old 
books in the garret. Such an intense longing came 
over me to know the truth, that I forgot the cruel 
beating, ignored the promise exacted by my mother, 
and determined to see Mrs. Deike again. 

Early the next morning I quietly left the house. 
When I reached the forest great fear came upon me ; 
and, in my anguish, I called on God to help me and 
show me the right way. I had sunk upon my knees 
while praying, and almost unconsciously I had 
prayed in the name of Jesus. As I uttered His 
name, it seemed as if a voice was saying to me, 
"What do you want with Jesus? He is not your 
God." 

I arose from my knees, a tempest raging in my 
soul. Everything seemed to be at peace and rest 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 53 

except myself. I advanced a few steps, and again 
fell on my knees beseeching the great Jehovah to 
reveal the truth to me, whether or not Jesus was 
His Son, the Messiah of the Jews. The voice with- 
in whispered again, "Not for you." I was greatly 
discouraged and despaired of ever finding the truth. 
But He who had begun the work of salvation in my 
soul suffered me not to perish in the darkness, but 
led me out into His marvelous light. I had turned 
my face homeward ; but, as I reached the border of 
the woods, I knelt down once more, praying in the 
name of Jesus for forgiveness of my sins. While 
thus praying I heard plainly the words of God, 
"Peace be unto you ;" and peace did enter my poor, 
troubled heart. This "wonderful peace coming 
down from the Father above" has ever since been 
my portion. It has been with me in sorrow, in 
trouble, in temptation, flowing as a river. And in 
every time of weakness God's peace has been my 
stay. 

Now that I had found Christ, there was no need 
of my going to Mrs. Deike, so I returned home, re- 
solved to tell of the great joy and peace that had 
come to me; but as I entered the house and beheld 
my mother's sad, sorrowing face courage failed me. 

My mother had not noticed my absence, and I 
deferred telling her of the great change that had 



54 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

come to me, but this change was noticed by the en- 
tire family, in that whereas I had been willful and 
imperious I was now kind and obedient. Little did 
they suspect the true cause of this condition. 

Several weeks passed, and I became conscious 
that I was denying my Lord and Master in being 
silent as to what He had done for me. Mean- 
while I was corresponding with Mrs. Deike. In one 
of her letters she wrote of a family from the Luth- 
eran Church who had lately been converted and had 
moved into our town, and advised me to become ac- 
quainted with them. 

They were poor and illiterate and the thought of 
associating with them was very repugnant to me, 
who had been taught to despise those whom we con- 
sidered in any way our inferiors. But, after pray- 
ing about it, things appeared in a different light. 
I realized that my Saviour was their Saviour, and 
that He was no respecter of persons. 

Very soon I went to visit this home. On enter- 
ing the room I found a number of persons kneeling, 
for it was Sunday afternoon, and they were having 
a little prayer-meeting. I silently knelt with them. 
One after another prayed, and when the last one 
had offered his petition I also lifted up my voice in 
prayer. The people, who were friends from the 
country meeting every week with this family for 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 55 

prayer, were much surprised to hear a strange voice, 
and as we rose from our knees one woman after 
another put their arms around me saying, "Though 
we never saw you before, we know that you are a 
child of God, for you speak the language of Zion, 
therefore you must be one of us. What is your 
name?" 

I told them, and great was their surprise when 
they learned who I was, for my father was well 
known. Never shall I forget the joy manifested 
among those people. Again they fell on their knees 
and gave God thanks for having found a lamb from 
"the lost sheep of the house of Israel." There was 
not only rejoicing in heaven, but also on earth over 
a sinner's repentance. 

I had been seriously thinking of baptism, being 
convinced that to be "one" with Christ I must obey 
His command and follow Him in baptism. I did 
want to obey my Master, but fear kept me back. At 
last I told my new-found friends of my desire. 
They were much rejoiced to know that I had made 
a full surrender to Christ and promised to aid me 
in the fulfillment of my desire. 

Their pastor, Rev. Mr. Domke, who lived eight or 
ten German (or forty English) miles away, was 
invited to hold meetings in our town, and I could 
then meet him. But when he came, it was impossi- 



56 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

ble for me to leave home without arousing suspicion. 
I was much disappointed in not seeing him, and 
earnestly I prayed that God would open the way 
for me to meet this Christian pastor. At the last 
moment the Lord answered my prayer. My mother 
went out for the afternoon, not to return before 
evening. At once I hastened to see Mr. Domke, and 
found him just ready to leave. Feeling that I must 
see him I accompanied him to the station. Mrs. 
Deike had told him of my conversion and he was 
very desirous of being helpful to me. The train 
being half an hour late gave us the desired oppor- 
tunity of speaking together of my faith in Christ, 
and making arrangements for my baptism. It 
seemed inadvisable that my public confession of 
Christ should be made at home, where there would 
be much opposition, so we arranged that I should 
go to Graudenz, which was about twelve miles from 
my home, and there I was to be baptized. 



CHAPTER IV. 

Several months later in October I found a way 
of leaving home for a few days. I wrote both Mr. 
Domke and Mrs. Deike that I was ready to obey the 
Lord's command, and November the second, 1870, 
was the day appointed for my baptism. I was to 
go to the home of Mrs. Deike, and her daughter 
would go with me to meet Mr. and Mrs. Domke, 
and together from there we would proceed to Grau- 
denz. Wednesday afternoon, October twenty- 
ninth, I started on my eventful journey. It was a 
cold and foggy day and it became very dark before 
I reached my destination. My heart trembled 
within me as I walked through the dark, lonely 
forest, but the presence of God was with me. 

When the forest was at last behind me a fervent 
"Thank God!" burst from my lips. I could 
scarcely find the way, but soon in the distance I 
saw the glimmer of lights and remembered a foot- 
path over which I had previously gone, and decided 
to take it and thus save considerable distance. But 
soon I discovered that I had missed the path and 
walked into a swamp. 

It was a most dangerous place, and many had 
perished there. I could move neither forward nor 
backward, for with every effort I sank deeper and 



i\ 



58 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

deeper. The mire reached to my shoulders and it 
seemed that every moment must be my last. 

In this perilous situation the tempter assailed 
me with fierce doubts and hideous fears, whisper- 
ing that this was my deserved punishment, because 
of my having forsaken the God of my fathers, and 
I must perish there alone in the darkness of night, 
my body not even being recovered from the terrible 
quagmire. 

But not long was I in the tempter's power. I 
grew calmer, lifted my heart to God, and com- 
mitted myself into his care. "Not my will, but 
Thine, O Lord,'- was the burden of my prayer, and 
it Avas not His will for me to perish there. 

A basket which I had carried on my arm slipped 
away from me. Mechanically I reached out for it, 
and in doing so my foot rested on a stone. Then 
all became a blank to me for a time, and the next 
thing I knew I was standing on solid ground hold- 
ing my basket. My shoes were gone, and how I got 
out of the swamp will always remain a mystery, 
but to God I gratefully give all the praise. 

Groping through the darkness I at last reached 
the home of my friends. When I opened the door, 
there sat the whole family around a bright fire 
engaged in pleasant conversation. They looked up 
to welcome the newcomer; there was a startled 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 



scream, and someone cried out, "A witch! A 
witch!" Although as Christians they did not be- 
lieve in witchcraft, the old superstition came into 
their minds as they gazed on me. 

For a few moments I stood in the doorway won- 
dering what had caused so much excitement in this 
peaceful home. Finally I said, "Why, what is the 
trouble? What makes you stare at me in this 
way?" 

At the sound of my voice Mrs. Deike came up to 
me and said, "Why, is it you, Jeanette?" 

It seemed such a strange question for her to ask. 
"Of course I am Jeanette," I said. "Have I so 
greatly changed that you do not recognize me?" 
Little did I realize what a change had taken place 
in my appearance. My long black hair was hang- 
ing in strings ; my face and hands were black with 
the mire of the swamp, and altogether I was a 
wretched looking object. No wonder they thought 
me a witch. 

I was much exhausted. My entire body was 
coated with the heavy black mud, and it was sev- 
eral days before I looked or felt like myself. 

When I related my experience, my friends mar- 
velled at the way God had delivered me. We 
realized His wonderful mercy and willingness to 
hear and answer prayer, as we learned that only a 



/ 



60 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

week before a man with his horses and wagon was 
lost in that same swamp. 

On Friday Mrs. Deike's daughter Marianna and 
I started for Graudenz as planned, stopping for 
the night at Hohenkirch where we were enter- 
tained in the home of the pastor. In company with 
Mr. and Mrs. Domke we continued our journey on 
Saturday afternoon. Members of the church met 
us and took us to their homes. I was very shy and 
bashful, this being the first time I had ever been 
away from home, and it seemed strange to be 
treated by perfect strangers with as much kindness 
as though I was their own sister. 

In the evening we attended the prayer meeting. 
How shall I describe my feelings as for the first 
time I entered a Christian house of worship? As 
the people came into the room, I observed their 
faces. They seemed to belong to a different world, 
to be real saints. Earnestly I prayed that God 
would make me as good as they were. I learned 
afterwards not to take Christians for my standard, 
but to look to Jesus only. 

The next day was the time set for my baptism. 
Notwithstanding a rain which had begun to fall, 
many people had come from a distance, anxious to 
see the Jewish convert. 

That was a happy morning. After the service in 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 61 

the church we had dinner at the home of Mr. and 
Mrs. Skibitzky (who at the present time are living 
in Chicago). They had invited a number of the 
visiting friends for dinner. Two long tables were 
prepared; and, after all had been seated, the food 
was brought in. Up to this time I had eaten no 
food forbidden by Jewish law. I had already par- 
taken of the soup when a great fat pork roast was 
served. What was I to do? I feared to refuse it 
lest they might think I was not really a Christian, 
for the idea is prevalent among the unconverted, 
that when a Jew becomes a Christian he must at 
once begin to eat pork. 

I looked at my slice of pork, then around at the 
company, seeking for some means of relief. It was 
so offensive to me, that I could not touch it. When 
I thought myself unobserved I picked it up on my 
fork and stealthily shoved it under my plate where 
it would not be seen by the guests. 

I fancied that no one had noticed my action, 
though some had seen it but considerately re- 
frained from making any comments on what must 
have appeared to them a foolish action. 

At the close of the afternoon service a business 
meeting was held, during which I was called in to 
relate my Christian experience. This examination 
lasted about thirty minutes, while I was seated in 



62 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

a chair in the center of the room with the members 
of the church standing around me. 

It was nearly 8 o'clock when we left the church 
to go to the river where another sister and myself 
were to be buried with Christ in baptism. (She 
has since gone to be with Him in glory. ) 

We had a walk before us of about three-quarters 
of a mile, and the people moved so rapidly that my 
friend and I could not keep up with them. A turn 
into a side street hid them from our view, and we 
went on in the darkness, not knowing that they had 
changed their direction. Consequently we were 
lost and did not know which direction to take, but 
walked on, asking God to take us to the right place. 

Not until the company had reached the river did 
they discover our absence. Becoming alarmed, 
several of the brethren started in search of us, and 
at last found us at the other end of the city. 

We rapidly retraced our steps in the pouring 
rain. There was no time to lose, and the few neces- 
sary preparations were soon made and I was bap- 
tized. 

Returning to the house of worship, we celebrated 
the Lord's Supper. Thus ended the most eventful 
day in my life, a day which I shall never forget. 



CHAPTER V. 

The following day we departed for our respec- 
tive homes. I was determined to make a full con- 
fession upon my arrival, but, oh, how weak is poor 
human flesh! I was as great a coward as when I 
had left home. I hoped that it would be easier to 
confess Christ before my own people after having 
made a public confession. 

The more I thought about it, the more firmly was 
I convinced that confession of my faith in Christ 
meant the loss of home and dear ones whom I 
so passionately loved, and for the first time I under- 
stood what Christ meant when He said, "Think not 
that I am come to send peace on earth : I come not 
to send peace but a sword." (Matt. X:34) And 
those searching words in Matt. x:37, "He that 
loveth father and mother more than me is not 
worthy of me/' held a new meaning for me. 

For several weeks the struggle lasted, fear, love 
and duty each striving for the mastery. Then 
came an invitation from a relative at Graudenz 
urging me to make her a visit. This being the city 
where I had made a confession of my faith, this 
invitation seemed a special providence, and espe- 
cially so as my mother wished me to go and said 
that I might stay several weeks. 

I had vowed that as soon as possible I would tell 



64 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

my parents what had taken place and imagined 
that it would be easier to write the news than to 
tell it, as a storm, if it rose, would more quickly 
blow over if I were not at home. 

The second week in December I left home for 
Graudenz, but instead of going to the residence of 
my cousin, I went to the home of a Christian fam- 
ily who had promised to shelter me in their home 
if I was driven from my own. A lonely feeling had 
come over me as the train started and I took a last 
look at the faces of my mother and sister who had 
accompanied me to the depot. I knew that never 
more should I return to my home as a beloved 
daughter and sister. Hitherto I had been sheltered 
in the home nest, but henceforth I must be an out- 
cast. 

My friends received me very kindly, but the first 
few days were very lonely, and in vain I tried to 
shake off oppression, but tears would often gather 
in my eyes. Before I had time to carry my plan of 
writing to my parents into effect, the news that I 
had openly confessed Christ reached our home 
through my father who heard of it. At once he 
told mother. Poor, heart-broken mother then 
told him that my brother also was a Christian. 
Father's wrath was kindled, and he declared that he 
would cast us off as we were unworthy of parental 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 65 

love. God's punishment, he said, would fall upon 
my mother and himself if they did not curse us and 
mourn over us as they mourn for the dead. He de- 
clared that mother should have nothing more to do 
with either of us ; but mother was unwilling to de- 
nounce her own children, and determined that, 
though it was impossible to reach her boy, she 
would rescue me from the clutches of the heathen 
people. 

As father refused to aid her in her efforts, she 
consulted her brother who lived midway between 
our home and Graudenz, whom she found as 
anxious as herself to get me away from Christian 
influences. 

The friends with whom I was staying lived in a 
flat on the second floor, while the lower floor was 
occupied by a Jewish family with whom I was not 
acquainted, and I did not imagine, that they had 
taken any notice of me. One night my friends no- 
ticed an unusual commotion down stairs. They 
saw a number of people entering, heard loud voices 
and noticed their violent gesticulations. The ex- 
citement seemed great and we became somewhat 
alarmed. Great was our wonder as to what occa- 
sioned so much confusion below, and presently we 
were surprised to hear a knock at the door. 



66 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

Upon the door being opened a young man entered 
and asked to see Fraulein (Miss) Gedalius. 

My friends inquired, "What is wanted of her?" 

He replied, "Frau (Mrs.) Blum, the lady who 
lives on the first floor, wishes to see her." 

My friends replied, "Tell Frau Blum that if she 
wishes to make our acquaintance we shall be 
pleased to have her call upon us." 

A few minutes later came another knock at the 
door and again I was asked to go to see another 
lady who was very anxious to meet me. The name 
was that of a perfect stranger to me, so we told her 
that whoever wished to see me must come to the 
house. 

In a short time a girl appeared with a note ad- 
dressed to me. Slipping it into my hand, she ran 
away without waiting for an answer. The note 
informed me that my mother had committed sui- 
cide and urged me to go at once to a certain house 
where I could find her body. 

Being convinced that all the uproar down stairs 
concerned me, we did not believe this statement 
and decided that under the circumstances it was 
not best to leave the house to go to church, but 
await developments. By 10 o'clock all was quiet 
and we congratulated ourselves upon having out- 
witted those who were seeking me, though I 






DRIVEN FROM HOME. 67 

thought we had not seen the end of the matter and 
felt that some trouble for me lay in the near future. 
However, committing ourselves to the care of God, 
we slept peacefully, trusting the promise, "He that 
keepeth thee will not slumber." (Psalm cxxi:3.) 

About 9 o'clock the next morning we were again 
disturbed. Some one opened the door (without 
knocking) and my mother and three men entered. 
I was fully prepared to meet my mother, hoping 
she might be friendly, and I went towards her to 
greet her with a kiss; but she repulsed me and, to 
my great surprise, slapped me in the face. 

My friends demanded, "Who are you, and what 
do you want?" 

Two of the men introduced themselves as being 
the Rabbis from the city and the third was my 
uncle from Lessen. The Rabbis represented two 
different congregations, the reformed Jewish faith 
and the orthodox. They were enemies on account 
of their different views, but on this occasion they 
had become friends. How similar to Herod and 
Pilate were they in thus uniting for persecution! 
"And the same day Pilate and Herod were made 
friends together: for before they were at enmity 
between themselves." (Luke xxiii:12.) So I, 
who was one of His weakest followers, was to real- 
ize His word, "The servant is not greater than his 



68 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

Lord. If they have persecuted Me they will also 
persecute you." (John xv:20.) 

My uncle acted as spokesman and commanded 
me to go with them without further delay. 

My friends interfered, saying, "We cannot con- 
sent to her leaving this house when there is such a 
disturbance," but they promised that I could go 
when everything was quiet if I wished. They 
feared to have me go at that time lest my people 
should treat me unkindly. 

My uncle took me into another room and up- 
braided me for my wickedness. Then he tried to 
bribe me, promising to give me two hundred dol- 
lars if I would then and there openly deny my faith 
in Christ. 

I replied, "Keep your money, uncle. It is impos- 
sible for me to deny Jesus Christ, for He is my 
Saviour and the King of the Jews. Neither can I 
consent to make my home with you." 

When he saw that I was firm and that he could 
not change me in my purpose, he left the room. 

As soon as my uncle left, my mother became very 
different in her attitude and she seemed very 
friendly. Even the Kabbis asked several questions 
and showed some interest in my friends. 

Mr. Domke, who had been summoned by my 
friends, entered into conversation with them on the 






DRIVEN FROM HOME. 



subject of Christianity, and everything appeared 
as though they were friendly and we had no sus- 
picion of treason. 

In about an hour the door was swung wide open, 
and uncle and two policemen entered the room. 
Without uttering a word, they seized me and 
roughly dragged me down stairs by my hair which 
was hanging in braids down my back. 

Mr. Domke tried to interfere, insisting that I 
ought not to be subjected to such barbarous treat- 
ment, but one of the officers, almost knocking the 
good man down, roughly answered that he was 
doing his duty. 

I did not regain consciousness until we had 
reached the street. My slippers had fallen off and 
I was in my stocking feet. It was a bitter cold day, 
there being several inches of snow on the ground. 
I was very thinly clad and had not even a wrap 
about me. I was led by my uncle between the two 
policemen to another part of the city, followed by 
mother, the Rabbis, and a great crowd which had 
gathered. Everyone wondered what crime I had 
committed. Children on their way home from 
school at noon followed throwing snowballs at me. 
The crowd were disappointed when, instead of en- 
tering the prison, we passed on down the street as 
far as a butcher's shop. 



70 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

Uncle pushed me into a large room which was 
used for a store. A number followed us in, most 
of them being men. Only Jews were allowed to 
remain, the others were ordered to leave. At the 
sound of so many voices the lady of the house came 
running into the store, inquiring what had caused 
the uproar. But she did not get a satisfactory 
answer, as some said one thing and some another. 
At last uncle explained to her that he had come 
just in time to snatch me from the Gallich (priest) 
who wanted to baptize me, but he had prevented it 
by his timely arrival. He also told them that the 
Christians had persuaded me to believe in the Tole 
(hanged one) and were holding up the cross for me 
to kiss, but that he had kept me from kissing it. 
"So," he concluded, "not much harm has been 
done." 

Then he shook his fist in my face and com- 
manded me to confirm his statements. 

But I declared, "It is false, not one word of it is 
true. No one has ever held up a cross before me, 
and I have never kissed a cross and never intend 
to so do. Indeed, since I became a Christian I have 
not even seen one. I have been baptized; I was 
baptized last November." 

At this my uncle became very angry and the 
people seemed about to tear me into pieces. 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 



The OAvner of the house then came up to me, and 
looking me all over said, "What ! you little chick of 
a thing! How is it that you cause so much trou- 
ble? Wait ; it won't take me long to drive the Tole 
(hanged one) out of you." With that she left the 
room. 

A few moments later she came back with a pot of 
steaming hot coffee, saying it would burn out 
the Christianity in me. Not from any fear did I 
refuse the coffee, but because I did not care for it. 
At my refusal, in her rage she threw the contents 
of the coffee pot over me, and there I stood with my 
head and face dripping coffee without even a hand- 
kerchief with which to wipe it off. 

When they found that they could not scare me 
into submission, but that I remained firm in my 
belief and unshaken by their threats, they adopted 
others means, mocking and cursing me, but I was 
happy, knowing that my Lord had been so despised 
and rejoicing that I was counted worthy to suffer 
reproach for His sake. 

The people, seeing my indifference to all they 
said, became more angry. My uncle's excuse for 
me was, "She is bewitched." But one man greatly 
enraged said, "She must die; if not, she will lead 
many astray." Hpw prophetic were his words! 
And yet, thank God, not one has been led astray 



72 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

through nie, but many have been led from the dark- 
ness of Judaism into the blessed light of Chris- 
tianity. 

The poor man who had advised killing me was so 
blinded with rage that he picked up a long but- 
cher's knife and would have thrust it into me, but 
in the twinkling of an eye between us stood my 
mother. She told him that he dare not kill me for 
I was her daughter, and she warned him that if he 
committed murder all the Jews would suffer ter- 
ribly thereby. The cooler headed. among them re- 
alized the truth of her words, knowing that the law 
would interfere if his threats were carried out, so 
they put him out of doors in spite of all his re- 
sistance, though he swore, cursed, and acted as if 
he were insane. 

At about 4 o'clock in the afternoon uncle secured 
a wagon filled with straw and into this I was put, 
my mother and uncle taking seats beside me. As 
we drove off the woman who had deluged me with 
hot coffee handed me a shawl, telling me to put it 
around my shoulders as the weather was extremely 
cold, but uncle snatched it away from me and 
threw it back to the woman, saying, "She cannot 
have it. Christianity must freeze out of her." 
With this he drove away. It grew colder and 
colder. I was nearly stiff when we reached uncle's 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 73 

house, yet Christianity was not frozen out of my 
heart, but the love of Christ burned there clear and 
bright. 

This was my first visit to my uncle's home and 
his family were all strangers to me. A number of 
people had gathered to see the apostate, and stood 
staring at me as though I were some rare animal. 
Before I entered the house my aunt began to utter 
abusive words, but uncle cautioned her to treat me 
kindly as it was only in this way that one like my- 
self could be won back to Judaism. 

My mother remained over the Sabbath and then 
went home. I begged her to take me with her, but 
she was deaf to my entreaties. Neither would 
uncle have allowed me to go, for he thought, as did 
my mother, that I would repent of my folly more 
quickly if I remained where I was. 

As soon as mother had gone, my trials began. 
The most prominent Jews in the city, together with 
their Rabbi, came to see me, seeking to convince me 
that I had committed a great sin, declaring that 
I ought to repent in dust and ashes and eat the 
bread of affliction for a whole week, according to 
the Talmudical law. They also read from the Tal- 
mud the most foolish stories concerning Jesus 
Christ. 

My aunt was very spiteful towards me. It 



74 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

seemed that the sight of me was sufficient to throw 
her into a frenzy. One day, during my uncle's ab- 
sence, she found constant fault with me, trying to 
provoke me to anger. Failing in this, she insisted 
upon my using the jargon language when speaking 
to her or her children. This language was never 
used in our home unless father and mother had 
something to say to each other that they did not 
wish us children to understand. Aunt asked me a 
question in jargon, and I being unable to speak 
well in that language answered in German, which 
so enraged her that, losing all control of herself, 
she took a hot spider from the stove and struck me 
with it. I threw up my hands to ward off the blow 
from my face and one hand was badly burned. 

They all watched me closely, fearing that I 
might run away, but I had not even thought of such 
a thing. Indeed, I was a perfect stranger in that 
locality, and would not know where to go if I had 
left there. Several days passed and uncle con- 
tinued to treat me with kindness, but the other 
members of his family were as bitter as ever. 

One bright, cold winter day uncle told one of 
my cousins to take me for a walk, but to watch me 
closely, permitting no one to speak to me. This 
cousin, like her mother, had been very hateful to 
me. As we walked along the streets, she pointed 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 75 

out several houses and told me that in them lived 
some of my brothers and sisters, the so-called 
"Muckers," as the Baptists were contemptuously 
named. This was of much interest to me, and I 
kept carefully in mind their location, also the 
names of the people whom she mentioned. 

The day following unusual preparations were 
made as if for a large supper. About 4 o'clock in 
the afternoon some twenty people gathered, and 
there was much excitement and whispering among 
them. My heart almost stopped its beating when 
occasionally I stole a glance through the half-open 
door separating me from the company. 

One of my cousins, a girl about twelve years of 
age, was my jailer, though much against her will. 
She was usually pleasant er than her mother and 
sisters; but this day, wishing to be with the com- 
pany, she was in bad humor and vented her wrath 
on me, kicking me several times. 

In order to see what was going on and hear what 
was being said, she had opened the door slightly. 
I sat near the door also and soon learned that ten 
men had been fasting all day and had come with 
the others, determined to tear from me my faith in 
Christ. They cursed and swore in a dreadful man- 
ner. I heard one man say, "She must renounce 



DRIVEN FROM HOME, 



her faith in the hanged one this very night, if we 
have to tear her to pieces to make her do so." 

Upon hearing these words I was indeed troubled. 
I was but a fifteen-year-old girl, and I did not fear 
for my life, for I was willing to die for Him who 
had died for me, but I feared lest they might wrest 
my faith from me. 

I cried to God to be my strength and helper in 
this time of need, and He answered my prayer and 
delivered me from the hands of my persecutors. 
My cousin became so absorbed in watching and 
listening that she forgot to watch me; so, without 
attracting her attention, I quietly slipped out of 
another door into the kitchen, then out of doors to 
the street. 

I remembered the nearest house to which my 
cousin had directed my attention and hastened to 
reach it. Without hesitation I entered the hall, 
not knowing in which rooms Mrs. Wenzel lived. 

I intended to open the first door that I saw, but 
as I laid my hand on the knob there came a sensa- 
tion as if some one had knocked down my hand. I 
could see no one, but felt a sharp pain at my wrist. 
For a few moments I stood there undecided what 
to do. Just then a man passed by and I inquired 
of him where Mrs. Wenzel lived, and he directed 
me to the rear of the house, pointing out her room. 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 77 

As soon as I opened the door, the woman recog- 
nized in me the Jewish sister of whom Mr. Domke 
had written to their congregation, commending me 
to their care. It seems that from the time she first 
heard of me, this good sister had been praying and 
waiting for me, ready to shelter and help in any 
possible way the persecuted Jewish girl. 

When I told her of my experience in the front 
hall, she was surprised and said that the hand of 
God must have prevented me from entering that 
door, as relatives of my mother lived in that part 
of the house. They were bitter enemies of Christ 
and His followers, and as she told me I could not 
help thinking of that wonderful promise in the 
thirty-second Psalm, "I will instruct thee and 
teach thee in the way which thou shalt go. I will 
guide thee with mine eye." 

It would not be safe for me to stay in that house, 
so at once the sister took me to another friend. 
Upon entering there, we were told that a Jewish 
man had already been there seeking me, and that 
they feared every Baptist family in the place would 
be visited by the Jews, and that it would be dan- 
gerous for me to remain in town. I was put into a 
dark room and concealed under some clothes. 
Then all the Baptist families living in town were 
called together. 



78 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

In great haste they answered the summons. It 
was decided that I must leave the place that very 
night. Four miles out in the country lived a gar- 
dener who was of the same faith, and a brother 
volunteered to take me out there. He had been 
working hard all day and was very tired, but this 
was the Lord's business, and he had cheerfully 
offered to go. 

It was half past eight when we started. The 
night was extremely cold and the ground was cov- 
ered with snow. My clothes were thin and I wore 
a pair of slippers similar to ordinary bath room 
slippers. I had taken nothing extra with me when 
hastily- leaving my uncle's house. None of the 
people present possessed two pairs of shoes, but 
one sister took off her shoes and gave them to me, 
and I was provided with necessary clothing. The 
shoes were so large I could hardly keep them on 
my feet, and some one suggested stuffing them 
with straw, which proved a great comfort as I tra- 
velled over the rough roads and through the deep 
snow. 

One friend contributed a coat, and another a 
shawl for a head covering. When we were ready to 
go they committed us to the care of our Heavenly 
Father. Not daring to go through the streets we 
climbed over fences and hedges until we reached 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 79 

the country road. We had gone only a short dis- 
tance when the brother stopped and said, "I am 
afraid we are followed ; we must not go farther on 
this road." There being no other travelled high- 
way, we had to cross the fields, which was both 
difficult and dangerous. Often we sank to our arm 
pits in the deep snow. We reached our destination 
some time after midnight to find everything en- 
shrouded in darkness. The brother rapped on the 
window and succeeded in arousing the inmates. 
Upon hearing what was wanted they very gladly 
took us in. A hot lunch was quickly prepared for 
the brother and after resting for a short time, bur- 
dened with the shoes and extra clothing which I 
had worn, he started on his return journey as it 
was necessary for him to be at his work early the 
next morning. 

I was so completely exhausted that I could nei- 
ther eat nor sleep. 

When the Jews discovered that I had escaped, 
they vowed vengeance and began a vigorous search 
for me, dividing themselves into three parties, one 
party going to the homes of the Christians asking 
all sorts of questions, while the other two parties 
stationed themselves at the two roads leading out 
of the town. 

My uncle with two other men visited the home of 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 



the friend who had taken me to the country. My 
uncle demanded of the lady, "Where is your hus- 
band?" 

She said, "What do you want of him?" 

He answered, "I want to hire him to cut wood 
for me." 

While talking, his eyes wandered around the 
room as if in search of something. He noticed a 
large bed with the curtains closely drawn. All at 
once he saw the curtains move, and he was sure 
that he had found my hiding place. With one 
bound he reached the bed, crying out, "I have her ! 
I have her!" 

The woman was greatly frightened and 
screamed, "Murder! Murder!" believing that the 
fierce man intended to kill her sleeping boy whom 
he had dragged from the bed. The cries of the 
woman brought a number of people into the room, 
and my uncle, seeing his mistake, hurried off with 
his two friends as fast as he could go. 

Those watching the roads had met with no better 
success. After vainly searching the Christian 
homes, uncle and his two companions joined the 
others, and they all agreed that I was not in the 
town and must have started for Graudenz. They 
thought that by following at once they might over- 
take me before I had gotten very far on the way. 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 81 

My uncle, two cousins of mother's and two other 
men walked all night and reached Graudenz at 
daybreak, going at once to the home of my friends 
and informing them that I had run away during 
the night without any clothing, had perished on 
the way and that they had found my frozen body. 

My friends said nothing to those who brought 
the information, but when alone they marvelled 
over it. The night before in their prayer meeting 
they prayed earnestly that no injury might befall 
me. At midnight they had the assurance that not a 
hair of my head should be harmed. That evening 
my friends summoned the few Christians to meet 
again for prayer, telling them the sad news brought 
by my uncle. Every heart was full of grief, and it 
seemed that their faith would be shaken, for they 
had been so confident that God had heard and an- 
swered their prayers. They knelt in prayer, and 
strong men wept as children, but faith triumphed 
and with one accord they cried, "Thy will, O God, 
be done." 

The day following my departure from my uncle's 
home was very stormy, the wind blowing the snow 
in great drifts. While it did not appear possible 
for any one to venture out, it seemed very neces- 
sary that I must go on to some place where the 
Jews would not find me, so about 9 o'clock in the 



82 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

morning Mrs. Knob ( my hostess ) and I started ont 
seeking a place of refuge for me. She had given me 
some clothing, including a pair of small, thin shoes. 

We had a distance of eight miles to cover, and 
many times we feared we should lose our footing 
and be blown down a steep hill. All day we walked 
on through the storm, towards evening reaching 
a farm house situated in a lonely part of the coun- 
try, far from any neighbors. The kind sister 
trusted that this place would afford a safe retreat, 
where I might be secure from danger and persecu- 
tion, for a time at least. 

I can never forget that terrible journey. We 
were both exhausted, and our hands and feet frost 
bitten. For many months I suffered from that 
day's exposure. 

The farmer and his wife (who was a sister of 
Mrs. Deike) were true Christians, and we were 
warmly welcomed to their home. Because of the 
weather continuing cold and the drifts of snow 
making the roads impassable Mrs. Knob remained 
about a week, while I was made welcome to stay 
as long as I needed a place of refuge. 

For four weeks I was undisturbed, but one day 
a Jewish peddler appeared at the door selling his 
wares. We had felt so secure that I had not 
thought it necessary to hide myself at any time, 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 83 

and was busy in the kitchen when the man en- 
tered. » 

At once he recognized in me the Jewish apostate, 
and I was no longer safe in that home. Previous to 
this I had notified the friends in Graudenz of my 
escape from my uncle, and they had written me 
that if I again needed a place to return to them. 
Under the present circumstances that was the only 
course to pursue, as no other way seemed open for 
me. Saturday was the day chosen for my return, 
as on that day there would be no danger of meet- 
ing any of my relatives on the train ; for as Ortho- 
dox Jews none of them ever travelled on the Sab- 
bath day. 

Fortunately on the train I met the minister who 
was to preach in Graudenz on the following day. I 
was very glad to see him, for I felt more secure in 
his company. At one station we had to wait two 
hours to make connections. A number of people 
came into the depot, and among them I recognized 
a Jew whom I had seen in the butcher's shop at 
Graudenz. When I called the minister's attention 
to the man he became somewhat alarmed and at 
once threw his overcoat on the seat completely hid- 
ing me from view. Thus I escaped notice. Pres- 
ently the train arrived and we resumed our journey. 
At five o'clock in the evening we reached Graudenz, 



84 DRIVEN FROM HOME, 

and were greeted by some of the church people who 
had come to welcome the minister. Again I was in- 
vited to the home of Mr. and Mrs. Skibitzky. At 
the station we thought we heard one man say to 
another that he believed he had caught a glimpse 
of the apostate. Mr. Skibitzky overhearing the re- 
mark addressed me in rather a loud voice as 
"Aunt/' and threw a large shawl over my head as if 
to bundle up an old lady to protect her from the 
cold. His ruse was successful, and I escaped recog- 
nition for the time. Ere long it was rumored that 
I was in the town and I did not dare stay long in 
any one house. Thus for six weeks I kept in hiding, 
going from one place to another, being concealed 
in the different Christian homes. 



CHAPTER VI. 

The law requires from each person leaving their 
place of residence a certificate from the magis- 
trate, which must be deposited in the place to 
which the person moves; and no one is allowed 
to remain in any city longer than twenty-four hours 
without having registered at the police station. All 
minors are required to have written permission 
from their parents or guardian duly signed by 
the magistrate, before they are permitted to leave 
home. As I had not permission from my parents 
or a certificate from the officer, I could not stay 
long in any place, and was obliged to leave Grau- 
denz at once. 

How earnestly we prayed that God would make 
the way plain ! A friend from a distant city came 
to visit the family where I was staying, and when 
he learned of my sad situation, he suggested that 
I might go home with him and remain with his 
family as long as left undisturbed by the police. 
It was January when I went to Danzig. These 
friends were poor, having scarcely enough for them- 
selves, and I felt that I must not be a burden upon 
them. 

In the church there was a wealthy widow, who 



86 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

upon hearing of my need, offered me a home with 
her. I most gladly accepted, anticipating happy 
days of service in that beautiful home. My friends 
all rejoiced with me over my pleasant prospects, 
and I went to that beautiful home with a heart 
full of thanksgiving to God. While waiting in the 
parlor, my thoughts went back to my happy child- 
hood home; and after wandering from place to 
place, the thoughts of rest and happiness in this 
home cheered me. 

When the lady appeared she informed me that 
she never received servants in the parlor and that 
the side door was the entrance to the kitchen. She 
then explained that I would be required to do the 
work of the chambermaid and cook, who had lately 
been discharged, and endeavored to impress clearly 
upon my mind what a favor she was bestowing 
upon me in giving me my board and lodging and 
the munificent sum of a dollar a month, for doing 
the work of two ordinary hired girls. 

I was very ignorant about housework, never hav- 
ing been required to do any, but I asked God to 
help me learn, and tried to do my best. 

It was a hard, trying winter, but the dear Lord 
gave me strength and courage. I had been there 
scarcely two months when a summons came to ap- 
pear at police quarters. There I was informed that 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 87 

within thirteen days I mnst either show my certifi- 
cate of residence or leave the city. I wondered 
what would become of me. I saw that I must leave 
Danzig and return to Graudenz, but how long could 
I remain there? God, in whom I trusted, did not 
forsake me. I returned to my old friends, who 
welcomed me with the news that I could secure ser- 
vice with a family who were about to move into the 
country. Although not familiar with farm life, I 
readily accepted the position, for I was willing to 
learn. Many and varied were my experiences, 
much of the work being very distasteful to me, but 
the dear Lord, for whose sake I had willingly given 
up all things, strengthened me for each day's duties. 

My path was thorny indeed. The people were 
not as kind as I had anticipated, and many times 
I went to bed hungry, after eating the one thin 
slice of bread which constituted my supper. 

I had few clothes, as most of my clothing was 
taken from me when my mother recovered me from 
my friends. My shoes were the oldest I had pos- 
sessed, and had been mended by a cobbler, who, in 
adding the new caps and soles had shortened them 
so that I was able to wear them only on Sundays, 
and was obliged to go bare foot the remainder of 
the week. Great was my suffering from walking 



88 DRIVEN FROM HOME, 

on the stony ground; and if I cried, some of the 
people laughed at me, while others scolded. 

One day I met with a severe accident. We had 
a large wash, I had been at work since 2 o'clock 
in the morning, and we had the clothes on the line. 
The lady of the house sent me to see if the clothes 
were all right. I was so very tired that I could 
scarcely move, but I was told not to waste any 
time. While hurrying along, my heel struck a 
sharp piece of glass, which cut a deep gash. I drew 
out the glass and then lost consciousness. I do 
not know how long I lay there, but soon I was 
missed, and the old grandmother was sent to find 
me. When she saw me lying there white and un- 
conscious, she seized a pail of the rinse water and 
threw it over me. This had the desired effect, and 
consciousness returned, but my foot was badly 
injured. They allowed me to rest for a few hours, 
but urged me to begin work again while I was yet 
scarcely able to stand upon my foot. 

Thus, with many hardships, time wore on. One 
day, as the men were busy in the hay field, I was 
sent with one man to clean out the well. We 
worked hard all the forenoon, and I was nearly 
exhausted when we heard the sound of wagon 
wheels. I looked up to see who was coming, and 
whom should I see but my mother and several 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 89 

Jewish men! I immediately dropped the pail 
which I had been using, and telling the man that 
my folks had come, I ran into the house. We 
could think of no hiding place except the dairy cel- 
lar, and as we were afraid the cellar might be 
searched they placed a barrel over me. For some 
time I heard angry words overhead, then came the 
sound of footsteps on the stairs, and my mother 
and two men were in the cellar searching wherever 
it seemed possible for me to be concealed, the men 
declaring that I must be somewhere in the house, 
as a peddler had lately visited the farm and had 
informed them of my whereabouts. 

Mother vowed that she would not leave the 
place until she had found me, but their search 
proved unsuccessful. My mother stood outside the 
door and began to lament the fate of her poor de- 
luded child. As I listened to her pleadings I was 
tempted to reveal myself to her. But fear for my 
fate and trust in Jesus Christ kept me where I was. 

They remained until evening, then left, vowing 
vengeance on the Christians for keeping me a pris- 
oner, declaring that I was being held against my 
will. Late at night I came forth from my hiding 
place, completely exhausted from the hard labor 
and severe mental strain. 

Several months passed in constant fear of dis- 



90 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

covery, rumors reaching us that the Jews were still 
searching for me. I knew not what to do; I had 
no place to go; but commiting all into the care 
of my heavenly Father and trusting that He would 
still provide a shelter for me, I prayed and waited. 

In the fall I received a letter from my brother 
urging me to come to him, for he had found a place 
for me, where I could make my home and finish my 
education. I was delighted, and looked forward 
with great hopes to the future. What joy to think 
that at last I should be near my Christian brother 
and have a happy home ! 

My preparations were soon made, and early in 
October I started on a long journey, my brother 
having sent the money for my traveling expenses. 
After a journey of a day and a night I reached my 
destination, finding my brother at the train to 
meet me, and great was our joy, when for the first 
time we greeted each other as Christians. He sym- 
pathized with me, as I told him of my past trials, 
and encouraged me to hope that all my sorrows 
were at an end. As long as I was a minor, I could 
find a home with these friends, and after becom- 
ing of age I need fear no one. 

Poor brother! Had he known the character of 
this home, he would not have sent me there for 
even one day. They were professed Christians, but 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 91 

in their treatment of me they were worse than 
heathen. The family consisted of father, mother 
and six children, and it was indeed a hard place to 
work. No servants would stay with this woman 
any Jength of time, because of her ill treatment of 
them. 

I was treated with great kindness as long as my 
brother remained and for a few days after his de- 
parture. Then the attitude of the woman changed. 
She required me to do work for which 1 had neither 
the strength nor the ability, and when I sometimes 
sank under the heavy burdens, she was not slow to 
strike me. 

One evening she told me that I must get up the 
next morning at 3 o'clock and begin a large wash- 
ing. I told her that it would be impossible for me 
to do so much. She became very angry, telling 
me that it was for her to command and for me to 
obey, since I was her servant, and that I ought to 
be very grateful for the home she was giving me. 
She knew that I was in her power, as I had nowhere 
to go. My brother was unable to help me, since 
he was only a salesman with no money to spare. 

At half past two the next morning I began the 
washing, and when Mrs. T. arose in the morning it 
was half done, but she expected me to have finished 



92 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

it by 9 o'clock. So, instead of giving me breakfast, 
she gave me a severe scolding. 

I had to leave the washing and get the children 
ready for school. After I had eaten a small roll 
and taken a cup of coffee I resumed my task. Long 
before it was done I became very hungry and, tak- 
ing a roll which had been left from breakfast, I be- 
gan to eat it. Just then Mrs. T. appeared and, 
losing her temper, accused me of stealing the bread, 
insisting that I had no right to take anything 
without her permission. 

After the clothes were washed I had to put them 
into baskets which were fastened to a wooden yoke 
resting on my shoulders, and in that manner carry 
them to the canal (a distance of two miles from 
the house) to be rinsed. Many times that winter 
I was obliged to cut through the ice in order to 
rinse the clothes. 

On one occasion I begged Mrs. T. to allow me to 
rinse the clothes in the house, for it was so icy 
without that I was afraid I might slip and fall. 
She would not listen to me, but ordered me to go 
at once to my work and do it as it ought to be 
done. I flatly refused to obey her. My protests 
were all in vain. Becoming violently enraged, she 
struck me twice and ordered me to do my work in- 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 



stantly or she would turn me out into the cold, 
away from the shelter of her home. 

No other alternative was left to me, so I lifted 
the weighty load upon my shoulders and went to 
the stream. In the heavy wooden slippers which 
I wore it was very difficult to walk and several 
times I fell ; the baskets were overturned and some 
pieces of the clean clothes were badly soiled. I 
tried to wash them over in the icy water, but they 
froze to my fingers and in the attempt to pull them 
away pieces of skin came with them. 

When I returned Mrs. T. examined the clothes, 
and finding some soiled pieces, she put them once 
more into the basket and sent me back to wash 
them again. I obeyed, though both hands and 
clothes were too stiff to wash the dirt out thor- 
oughly, but I did the best I could, and returned 
to the house. 

Many were the hardships I endured in that place. 
One Sunday I asked if I might go to church. The 
Baptists had a little church in Retz, a town eight 
miles away, where services were held twice a 
month. Permission was given me to go, providing 
all my work was finished before I started. Satur- 
day night I worked until twelve o'clock, and early 
Sunday morning I resumed my labors. By eight 
o'clock all was in order, and I was ready to go. 



94 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 



The morning was clear and cold, and my heart 
was light and joyful. Although I had to walk to 
and from church, yet I rejoiced, full of gladness 
and happy in Jesus, and praised Him for the op- 
portunity of once more hearing His Word. Oh, 
how I enjoyed the sermon that day! The pastor 
invited me to his home for dinner, and kindly urged 
me to stay with them over night, but I dared not, 
for Mrs. T. expected me home that night. On my 
return journey I began to suffer with my feet, as I 
was still wearing the small shoes. I had started 
for home at two o'clock, but the darkening shadows 
of night began to fall before I had covered half 
the distance. At last I could walk no farther, and 
sat down on a stone, shivering with the cold, not 
a soul in sight, and a deep sense of desolation 
creeping over me. The poor little birds, overcome 
by the intense cold, fell dead at my feet. Even the 
blood in my veins seemed to be freezing, and soon 
my whole body felt heavy, and I could scarcely 
move. In my despair I cried to God to help me, or 
at once take me to Himself. 

Hardly had the words passed my lips when I 
heard the sound of an approaching team. I had 
no strength to call for help, so held up my hand- 
kerchief as a signal of distress, though all was dark 
and I could not see who was coming. After a few 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 95 

minutes I felt some one shaking me, and heard 
some one ask " Who are you? What are you doing 
here? Where do you want to go?" 

With great difficulty I answered his questions. 
He then led me to a wagon where two other men 
were seated. One of the men said : " If we take 
her home she ought to pay the toll." 

I said : "I would gladly do so had I the money, 
but I have none. If you can not take me home 
without my paying the toll, I must remain here and 
perish from the cold." 

The men had compassion on me, and made room 
for me in the wagon, and finally I reached home. 
For several days I was very sick, but ere long I 
was set at my accustomed duties. One of the hard- 
est tasks I had to perform was the milking of a 
goat, which always refused to give me the milk. 
Many times was I thrown down by her jumping 
over my head. I did not know how to milk a goat, 
particularly that unruly one. Mrs. T. told me to 
give it something good to eat and coax it, and 
then it would become gentle. 

With tears dropping on the goat's head, I begged 
it to give me the milk, calling it the nicest names 
I knew, and giving it the best kind of food ; but all 
my efforts were in vain. Mrs. T. was forced to per- 
form the duty herself, all the while scolding me, 



96 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

saying : " You are good for nothing and do not 
earn even the food yon eat." One day she was not 
feeling well and was exceedingly hard to please 
and again she sent me to do the milking. The 
goat kept jumping along the wall as far as its 
chain would permit, and would not allow me to get 
near it, so I went into the house and told Mrs. T. 

She ordered me to go back at once and get the 
milking done, saying : " It is only your obstinacy 
that is the trouble. You could milk that goat if 
you wished. It stands for me when I milk it." She 
was so abusive that, in despair, I returned to the 
stable and again pleaded with the goat, " Do please 
stand still and let me milk you." 

The woman had advised pleasant words and, 
although I hated to talk so to a goat, I begged it 
to be good and stand still. 

The animal was so obstinate that finally, not 
knowing what else to do, I took a stick which was 
lying near and struck it across the back. It then 
stood quietly and I was able to take two quarts of 
milk to the house. 

Mrs. T. showed her approval by saying : " I told 
you so. It was all your own fault that the goat 
would not stand; if you had only treated it kindly 
long ago there would have been no trouble." 

I did not tell her how I had become victorious. 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 97 

The next morning she said: "Now be sure to 
treat the goat nicely." When I opened the stable 
door it was to find the goat lying motionless on its 
bed of straw. It had died during the night. 

Mrs. T. was very angry when she heard of the 
death of her pet ; of course, she blamed me, and had 
she known that I had struck it, her anger would 
have been terrible and beyond control. 

The life at this place became unbearable and fin- 
ally I wrote to Mrs. Deike, telling her of my trou- 
bles. She, in answer, wrote back to me : " Trust in 
God, and come to me as soon as you can." 



CHAPTER VII. 

As time wore on I wrote to my brother about re- 
turning to Mrs. Deike's house, which was so near 
our old home, whereupon he wrote to Mrs. T. to 
give me my traveling expenses to return to my 
friends, as he could not afford to send me any 
money. She gave me about half enough for the 
journey, but since I had friends living at Bromberg 
I finally decided to go there. A friend of my 
brother accompanied me to the train, and upon 
learning that I had not sufficient money, he kindly 
supplied the rest. 

For a short time I stayed with these friends, en- 
joying a delightful visit, though confined to the 
house most of the time on account of my feet, 
which were much crippled from those small shoes. 
So bad did they become that I lost the nails from 
some of the toes. One day I did attempt to go out 
calling with my friend, but the pain in my feet was 
so intense that I fainted on the street. 

From Bromberg I went on to Mrs. Deike's. Hav- 
ing so little money, even for postage, I had not noti- 
fied them of the time of my arrival, consequently 
there was no one at the train to meet me, and I 
was forced to walk the eight miles. I had dis- 
carded the shoes and wore only a pair of house slip- 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 99 

pers. It was a very cold day and my suffering was 
great; but late in the evening I reached the farm 
house. I was unable to walk for several days, dur- 
ing which a severe snow storm raged and it was im- 
possible to send for my baggage. Finally, after 
the storm had ceased, the youngest daughter and 
myself drove to the station, got the baggage and 
started for home. 

The weather had changed since we left home; 
it had become much colder, dark clouds gathered, 
and a storm was fast approaching. The horses 
made but little progress, owing to the icy, hilly 
road. When Mariana's hands became so numb that 
she could not drive I took the reins, but soon I, too, 
was unable to hold them, and the horses, freed from 
a controlling hand, turned off into a ditch. Only 
one step more and we would have been dashed to 
pieces ; but the everwatchf ul, all-seeing Father pre- 
served His children in this hour of danger. Mari- 
ana had partially lost consciousness, but my cry of 
distress roused her, and by our united efforts the 
horses were again turned into the road. We did 
not know where we were, and could not guide the 
horses, but trusted the Lord to bring us home in 
safety. Ere long in the distance we saw a light 
and urged the horses on, for it seemed that our 
strength could not last much longer, and oh, how 

LofC. 



100 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

thankful we were when we reached the shelter of 
home! The friends had been greatly alarmed at 
our long absence, and it was a happy family that 
knelt that evening to give thanks to God for His 
goodness to us. 

I stayed for several weeks with these kind 
friends, but it was too near my old home for me 
to remain in safety for any length of time, and 
now again the question faced me : " Where can I 
go next?" I had no credentials or references, 
neither had I permission from my parents to as- 
sist me in getting a position. 

In this time of need I leaned upon God and His 
promises and He did not fail me then, nor has He 
ever failed me since; for His promise stands fast, 
" I will never leave thee nor forsake thee." (Heb. 
xiii, 5.) 

About this time Mrs. Deike made a visit to her 
brother, who lived on a large farm about twenty- 
five miles away, with no near neighbors. Upon her 
return she told me that her brother would be will- 
ing to have me stay there, providing I would work 
as a farm hand. I accepted the situation, since 
there seemed nothing else for me to do, and in a few 
days I began work there. They were Lutherans 
and somewhat opposed to the Baptist denomina- 
tion, but on the whole, they were very kind and 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 101 

promised to do the best they could by me. To this 
country home little of the outside world came, no 
newspapers ever reached their house, and no mail 
carrier ever knocked at the door. 

The first thing I had to learn was to walk in the 
clumsy wooden slippers which Mr. 0. made for each 
member of the family. The next thing was to 
learn how to spin. During the long winter even- 
ings the women and girls spun the wool for their 
own winter stockings, all going barefoot in the 
summer. I had never seen any one spin and was 
so awkward that I became the laughing stock of all. 
The fact of the matter is, that I never did learn 
to spin well, though I really tried very hard, and 
finally succeeded in spinning enough for two pairs 
of stockings for myself; but the yarn was so hard 
and uneven that they were thick and clumsy and 
caused me much suffering in the wearing of them. 
While learning I complained once, and was told: 
" Oh, the Jew is still hanging about you and the 
sooner you get rid of it the better it will be for 
you." The work was new to me and I made many 
blunders and often overheard the remark : " Oh, 
Jews are no good at work; they prefer to live on 
other people's work." I could only pray for wis- 
dom and patience and keep on trying to learn. 

We rose early in the morning, and before break- 



102 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

fast I had to milk seven cows, feed the pigs and look 
after the poultry. During the winter the family, 
including the hired help, numbered fifteen per- 
sons; while in the spring and summer there were 
twenty-two. All the cooking for this large house- 
hold was my work, also the preparation of food for 
the stock on the farm. Every day in the week the 
same work was to be done, and from four o'clock 
in the morning until after ten at night my hands 
were never idle. 

I was obliged to do the work of spreading the 
fertilizer on the ground, picking up stones, and 
other heavy work in the field. 

When Easter came, great preparations were made 
for the three days holidays. On such occasions, all 
but the most necessary work was laid aside, every- 
thing is made nice and clean, all the scrubbing of 
floors and such work being my portion. Many times 
I bruised my fingers — the result of which was a 
felon on my right hand, but during this busy season 
I had no time to nurse it. 

Day and night I suffered. Little sympathy was 
given me, and after sleepless nights I did the work 
as best I could. Finally my hand became so stiff 
and black that a physician was called, who advised 
amputating the hand at once. I refused, and then 
he insisted on taking off the finger; and, though 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 103 

every one said I was stupid and willful, I refused to 
permit it, putting my trust in God. 

He answered my prayer in a way far different 
from what I had expected. About two weeks later I 
was in the kitchen peeling potatoes with my left 
hand, when there came a knock at the door. The new 
comer proved to be a Jewish peddler. I endeavored 
to appear unconcerned, and at the first opportunity 
left the room; but he had recognized in me the 
fugitive. Two days later, in the afternoon a wagon 
containing several persons drove into the yard. At 
the sound of wheels I hurried in from the field 
where I had been picking up stones. Imagine my 
dismay when my mother alighted and came toward 
the house. 

I was frightened, but there was no chance to hide. 
She ordered me to get ready and go home with her, 
and I was obliged to obey ; for well I knew that re- 
sistance would be useless. 

Late that evening we reached home. Not a word 
had my mother spoken to me during the long jour- 
ney, and now I was sent to my room without seeing 
any other member of the family, my mother se- 
curely fastening the door of my room. 

The next morning she brought me my breakfast, 
telling me that I could not leave the room until I 
had repented of my foolishness and cursed the 



104 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

Christian religion. She examined my hand which 
she had now for the first time noticed. At the sight 
she nearly fainted, but immediately set about doing 
something to relieve it. Fortunately it proved to 
be the wisest thing that could be done. Every time 
she dressed it she would attribute the affliction to 
the Christian religion and declare the curse of God 
rested upon me. 

The supposed curse was soon removed, as my hand 
was entirely healed. After I had been at home a 
week, the Jewish people began to visit me, among 
them the Kabbi, who came once and sometimes twice 
a day. He would not argue with me from the Bible, 
but only from the Talmud, constantly endeavoring 
to weaken my faith in Christ. 

The Jews of the community at first believed that I 
had become a Christian in order to get riches. Now 
when they learned that such was not the case, their 
disgust was great. For several weeks they sought 
to win me back to the Jewish religion, and many 
times I grew faint and weary, but Christ with His 
loving arms around me kept me during those days 
of trial. I had no Bible, no book to read, and was 
kept a prisoner, even the windows being nailed on 
the outside to prevent any possibility of escape. 

I had been there six weeks or more before I saw 
my father. I dreaded to see him for fear that he 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 105 

would seek to wrench my faith away from me. 
Whenever I heard a footstep I trembled lest he 
might come in anger, but weeks passed by and he 
did not appear. 

The Jews advised mother to take other means 
than kindness in her efforts to bring me to reason. 
Poor blinded mother ! She loved me so dearly that 
she would have given her heart's blood to save me, 
and yet she treated me with the greatest unkind- 
ness, every stroke she gave me hurting her more 
than it did me; but she thought she was serving 
God by thus punishing me in order to bring me 
back to the fold if possible. 

The Rabbi became very insulting, and told mother 
that I deserved to be thrown into the street and 
left there to die like a dog. Suddenly his visits 
ceased, and I was left in peace for several weeks. 
Then came the interview which I had so long 
dreaded. 

One afternoon I was sitting by the closed window, 
looking up at the sky, lost in thought, when the door 
was quietly opened and there stood my father. He 
was so changed; never before had I seen such a 
look of tenderness on my father's face. For a few 
moments he stood without uttering a word, then he 
said: 

"Have you no word of greeting? Are you not 



106 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

glad to see your father? Have the Christians so 
poisoned your mind, or have they wrung the Jewish 
heart from you, my poor child?" 

As I listened to his kind and loving words and 
beheld his careworn face and flowing, white hair, 
my heart was almost broken. He opened his shel- 
tering arms and clasped me to his heart and spoke 
to me so gently, calling me the endearing names a 
loving father gives to his child, that my courage 
seemed about to leave me. I forgot all I had 
planned to say, and let him hold me without saying 
a word, or trying to make any explanations; for I 
was again as a little child in my father's arms. 

By and by he loosened his hold, and said, "My 
daughter, what have you gained by forsaking the 
God of your fathers? Have you gained anything?" 
I was unable to answer him a word. 

Seeing that I did not reply, he began to plead 
with me to repent of my folly and renounce Jesus. 
But that was the one thing utterly impossible for me 
to do. How could I curse Jesus, who had saved 
me and forgiven all my sins, who loved me more 
than all earthly friends? 

Again my father placed his hands on my shoul- 
ders while tears rolled down his pale cheeks, falling 
on my hands. With trembling voice he implored, 
"Come back, my child, to your father's house, to the 



DRIVEN FROM HOME, 107 

God of your father and mother. Outside, you have 
no friends. No one can love and care for you as do 
your parents. Why will you be a stranger and an 
outcast when you may have love and shelter?" 

As my father spoke thus, it seemed almost as if 
the price was too great for me to pay. It seemed 
that I must give up my faith in Christ and reject 
Him then and there. A fierce battle was waged that 
day; and, for a time, it seemed as if earthly love 
would conquer and that I would give up my Sav- 
iour. But at the most critical moment Christ's 
promise, "I will never leave thee nor forsake thee/' 
came to me as never before. 

I seemed to hear Him say, "He that loveth father 
or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me." 
(Matt. x:37.) The struggle ceased, peace entered 
my soul, and I spoke the words which I had been 
unable to utter before this. 

I begged my father to let me believe in Jesus, as 
He was the only one on whom we could rely, and 
because He was the One of whom Moses and the 
prophets testified. My words fell on unheeding 
ears, for my father would not listen, but becoming 
very angry he declared that I must then and there 
renounce Christianity or answer with my life. 

"I would rather give up my life than my Christ," 
was my answer. 



108 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

What a transformation was wrought in his ap- 
pearance! He now stood before me filled with 
wrath and ready to strike his defenseless child. In 
all my life I had not seen my father so angry, but 
he left the room with only these words: "Never 
again shall you call me 'father,' and never more 
shall you see me." And I never did see my father's 
face again until the pallor of death was upon it. 
Then he was white and motionless in his coffin, un- 
able either to bless or to curse his child. 



CHAPTER VIII. 

After my father left me, my mother entered the 
room, her face as white as a sheet, wringing her 
hands in agony, weeping as thongh her heart would 
break. Oh, how I longed to comfort her, but she 
would not suffer me to even approach her or to talk 
with her. My faith was sorely tried, but I earnestly 
prayed that God would give me wisdom and cour- 
age bravely to bear those trials which for His sake 
I was enduring. 

The Rabbi called a few days later; and upon 
learning that even my father's entreaties were un- 
availing, he advised my mother to drive me from 
the house at once, lest the wrath of God should 
descend upon her household. 

The curses uttered by the Rabbi greatly alarmed 
my mother, and she again came to my room and 
urged me to give up my faith in the "hanged one." 
I told her that I could not do so, and then she lost 
control of herself. 

The afternoon had been a trying one for her, and 
it was not to be wondered at that she had become 
so excited. Not only had the Rabbi been to see her, 
but many other Jews had come with their advice. 
Even some of the so-called Christians called to ridi- 
cule and condemn me. So, upon hearing my refusal 
she knocked me down, my head striking the door 



110 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

post, and I fell unconscious to the floor. I do not 
know how long I remained in that condition, but 
when I recovered mother entered the room and 
thrust me out of the house into the street. There 
were no kind words of farewell, no loving embrace, 
no one to say "God bless you," as I took my depart- 
ure from the home of my childhood. 

No one but God knew the loneliness and the utter 
desolation of my heart. My cry was unto Him not 
to leave or forsake His child. Just as He always 
does, He heard and answered in this time of great- 
est need, for His love and faithfulness can never 
fail. 

As I faced the future that evening how dark it 
looked! My head was aching from the fall, and I 
thought my right eye badly injured, for I was unable 
to open it. I had only ten cents in money and knew 
not where to go. 

The friends who had given me shelter before lived 
many miles away, and I could not tell what direc- 
tion to take in order to reach their homes. I knew 
of no one in the town who would give me shelter for 
even a single night, for at that tine the Baptists 
were hated by Catholics and Lutherans as well as 
Jews. 

In my homeless condition, thinking sad, sad 
thoughts, I walked toward the depot, having no 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 11 1 

plan in mind as to where I should go. As I reached 
the station a train arrived ; then not knowing what 
else to do, I bought a ticket for the next station, 
using my last money. 

As I sat in the car, I remembered hearing that 
somewhere in that vicinity there lived a Baptist 
family, the head of which was a shepherd on a large 
estate (the same family is now living in Cleve- 
land, Ohio). I could recall the name of the estate, 
but did not know the distance nor in what direction 
it lay from the station. Soon the train stopped, and 
I stepped out on the platform. Hopelessly I looked 
around for some one to direct me where to go ; but 
no one was in sight. The sun was setting and I had 
not the slightest idea where to lay my weary, throb- 
bing head that night. It seemed that my resting 
place must be the dark lonely woods. 

I sat down on a stone by the roadside and 
watched and waited for some one to pass. I cried 
to Him who in other times of perplexity had made 
the way plain for His child. I must have waited there 
nearly half an hour when there came the sound of 
approaching wheels. It was a carriage whose sole 
occupant was a lady. The coachman seeing me 
stopped, and I inquired of him the direction of the 
place I was seeking, and also the distance. "Two 
(eight English) miles," was the reply, while he 



112 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

pointed towards a dense forest as the direction in 
which it lay. 

The driver, seeing disappointment in my face, 
added, "You certainly don't mean to go there to- 
night?" 

The lady at the sound of our voices opened the 
carriage door, and inquired what the trouble was, 
and the coachman told her that I had lost my way 
and did not know where to go. 

Before I could make any explanation, the lady, 
moved with compassion, invited me to step inside 
the carriage and told the coachman to drive on. As 
we rode along in the twilight, she asked me many 
questions. I told her where my home was, but said 
nothing of the persecutions, or of having been 
driven from home. But I did tell her about 
Jesus, my best friend. 

She became greatly interested and was very anx- 
ious to hear about the dear Saviour. Before we 
parted, she said that she, too, wanted to love Jesus, 
and made me promise to go to the mansion belong- 
ing to the estate where the shepherd lived and tell 
the "gracious lady" (wife of an owner of an estate 
was thus called) of the love of Jesus. I learned 
later that she had heard of me, and had desired to 
have me come to her home. 

I was driven to within a half mile of mv desti- 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 113 

nation; the lady in parting kissed me and slipped 
a piece of money into my hand and asked me to 
pray for her. This was my first missionary work. 

Kejoicing in heart I soon reached the home of the 
shepherd, where I received a hearty welcome. 

The next morning I called at the home of the 
"Gracious Lady," but she had just started on a 
journey. The housekeeper, who had heard of me 
through her mistress, was exceedingly glad to see 
me, and sought to make my stay a pleasant one. 
She directed one of the maids to show me through 
the grounds and gardens. This girl was a devout 
Catholic, and when she learned that I was a Jewess, 
and that I now believed in the Lord Jesus, she be- 
came much interested, asking many questions about 
the Protestant religion. After hearing the story of 
the love of Jesus and what He had done for me, 
tears rolled down her cheeks and she promised to 
seek Him with her whole heart. She did so and 
suffered much persecution at the hands of the 
priests and other Catholics. Years afterwards, 
when I had even forgotten her name, we met in 
Chicago. 

I remained with the shepherd's family two days ; 
then decided to return to the farm from which my 
mother had taken me. The son-in-law of the kind 
shepherd took me to the home of Mrs. Deike, which 



114 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

was about half way to the farm ; and, though it was 
the busy season, Mrs. Deike took me the remainder 
of my journey to her brother's farm, where I re- 
mained for the next two years, unmolested and free 
from persecution. I shall therefore pass over those 
two years in silence. 



CHAPTER IX. 

At the expiration of two years I decided to make 
a change and go to live with an old lady who had 
much trouble in keeping any one with her for any 
length of time. The place seemed so much more 
desirable than my present position that I had no 
hesitancy about making the change. But great was 
my disappointment in this new home. 

This lady was very suspicious and in constant 
fear of being robbed. She was ever on the watch, 
and three or four times each night she would make 
me get up and go to the barn (where she kept a cow 
and its feed) to see if everything was all right. No 
matter how cold the night might be, I was obliged 
to make these regular trips, going a distance of 
about thirty yards. 

At four in the morning I had to get up to watch 
while she slept. There I had to sit in that cold dark 
room with neither fire nor lamp. I suffered much 
from hunger; the food was kept under lock and 
key, and I could have only what little she was 
pleased to give me. The work instead of being light 
was very heavy. I was kept busy all the time, for 
after I had finished the work and thought that I 
might rest, then I must take the cow for a walk — a 
very humiliating task, as I had to go through the 
village leading her by a rope. 



116 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

For six months I endured this hard life with its 
many annoyances ; but the following spring I went 
to work for a family where I was sure I should find 
it much easier and could get at least enough to eat. 

I had known this family when they lived in the 
city in a beautiful home; now T they were reduced 
to poverty and were living on a small farm. No 
magistrate's certificate would be required and I 
hoped to be safe there, but again hard times were 
before me. My work was similar to that on the 
first farm, planting, haying, harvesting, etc. It was 
work from early morning till late at night, and 
there was little to eat. Many times a meal consisted 
of a piece of dry bread and water, or potatoes with 
a sprinkling of salt. What the hardships of the life 
on this farm were it would be impossible for me to 
describe, but through it all, God never suffered me 
to lose faith in Him. I knew He was with me and 
Jesus became more and more precious. 

I remained in this place until I was nearly twenty 
years old, when I was considered to have reached 
my majority. I had been a Christian for nearly five 
years, had been absent from home most of the time, 
suffering much, but I had learned that the "cross 
is not greater than His grace." 

My brother wrote from Berlin advising me to 
come to him, as he hoped to make life easier for me. 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 117 

Now that I was free to go or to do as I pleased I 
decided to go to him in the autumn. 

My few belongings were packed in a blue and 
white striped pillow case, and I started on my long 
journey, looking forward with much joy to meeting 
again that dear brother from whom I had so long- 
been separated. 

At seven o'clock in the morning of a dreary, rainy 
day, I arrived in Berlin. I had expected my brother 
to meet me, but I did not see him at the station. As 
I had my brother's address, I inquired the way of 
a policeman ; and, though it was a long distance, I 
had to walk, as I had no money for carfare. 

I finally found the street and number. It was a 
large double house, and I did not know how to find 
my brother's rooms. I rang the bell at several doors 
and inquired, but no one knew him, as he was not a 
regular tenant, but had furnished rooms with a fam- 
ily living in the building. I was told that unless I 
knew the name of the family with whom he roomed 
it would be impossible to find him. At last I be- 
came discouraged, and sitting down on the steps I 
began to cry, for I did not know what would become 
of me if I did not find my brother. 

Presently a door was opened and a gentleman 
came out. Upon seeing me he spoke kindly and I 
told him my trouble. He was very kind and invited 



118 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 



me in, explaining the situation to his wife, who tried 
to comfort me by offering me a cup of coffee and a 
roll ; but it seemed almost impossible for me to eat 
because I was feeling so lonely. The gentleman 
assured me that he would find my brother. While 
he was absent, his wife suggested that I take the 
position of nurse girl for her baby, which I agreed 
to do. 

Soon the gentleman returned with my brother, 
and my heart bounded with joy at seeing him. At 
first he did not recognize me ; but looked around the 
room and asked, "Where is my sister?" 

I went up to him expecting a loving greeting, but 
he drew back in astonishment and mortification. 
The people did not seem to know what to make of 
the strange situation. After a painful pause he 
greeted me with the words, "Well, girl, how you do 
look ! I can scarcely believe that you are my sister, 
but I see now that you are. I went to the depot this 
morning to meet you, but I never dreamed that my 
sister would present such an appearance." 

The lady noticing his chagrin said, "You need 
not be troubled about her ; she can have a home with 
me, as I have already engaged her as nurse for the 
baby." 

My brother's pride was touched, and I could see 
that he was indignant at such a proposition ; but his 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 119 

better nature triumphed and very kindly he told 
her that his sister was not in need of a position, as 
he was able to care for her. Then he thanked them 
for their kindness to me. 

It was no wonder that my brother had failed to 
recognize me, for he had still in mind the sister of 
five years before in her dainty frocks. He had not 
taken into consideration what four years of priva- 
tion and hardship might mean to me. It has been 
truly said, "Woman has the heaviest burden and 
walks the hardest road," and he had not been called 
to bear the sufferings and persecutions that had 
come to his sister. He had engaged rooms and 
board for me with a refined, highly educated lady, 
whose drawing rooms were the center of culture, 
and he naturally felt disappointed in me. 

After we had reached his apartments, he could no 
longer restrain his indignation, "What shall I do 
with you?" he said. "I cannot take you to that lady 
in your present condition." 

I felt very sorry for him, as I realized that I was 
unfit to be introduced to refined people, for there I 
stood, a rough country girl, without a hat, and with 
an old shawl tied about my head. My clothing was 
of the poorest, coarsest kind, and my rough, red 
hands were bare. It must have been hard for my 



120 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

brother; for he was well dressed, and extremely 
neat and pleasing in his personal appearance. 

At last I began to cry bitterly, saying, "Please 
leave me alone and don't look at me in that way. I 
will go somewhere as a servant, and will tell no 
one that I am your sister. I will stay away until I 
have earned enough to dress up, and study hard, so 
that no one shall need to be ashamed of me." 

By the time I had finished, brotherly love had 
triumphed over pride ; he broke down and there we 
sat crying together. He tried to console me by say- 
ing over and over again, "Xever mind, never mind, 
little sister, I do not need to be ashamed of you. It 
is not your fault that you have nothing. I will ex- 
plain to Mrs. H. and she will understand. 7 ' I dried 
my tears and made myself a little more presentable. 
He then admitted that my appearance was im- 
proved; but he could not overcome his dislike for 
those big red hands, roughened by hard work. 

Finally we decided to conceal them by getting a 
pair of gloves. We went to a store and purchased 
an expensive pair of gloves, but alas ! at the first at- 
tempt to put them on, I split them open. It could 
not be helped; so with the torn gloves partly con- 
cealing the red hands we went to meet Mrs. H. I 
saw that she was disappointed in my appearance; 
she was too much of a lady, however, to make any 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 121 

comments. Later we grew to know each other well, 
for she became mv brother's wife. 

My brother provided very liberally for me, and I 
was very happy. Life again seemed full of bright- 
ness and I rejoiced that the trials were over. It was 
in this city that for the first time I became engaged 
in church work. At the time of my conversion my 
heart burned with love for my own people, and I 
was willing to go even in the capacity of a nurse girl 
into Jewish families and teach the little children 
about Jesus; but the severe persecutions I had re- 
ceived at the hands of those whom I loved had ex- 
tinguished those desires. 

The church of which I had become a member was 
interested in foreign missions, and when I learned 
of the great need, my heart was moved with love 
for the poor heathen in those benighted lands. My 
earnest desire and prayer was that I might go to 
Burmah as a missionary, but my friends said that I 
was not qualified for service in the foreign field, and 
that God's work for me was among my own people ; 
so I continued to work in the church and Sunday- 
School. 

Being of an independent spirit I began to feel 
that I must not depend upon my brother for sup- 
port, so I began studies in a business college, and 
learned book-keeping; in the mean time changing 



122 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

iny boarding place for one that was much cheaper. 

I was very busy during the day with my studies ; 
but when the day's work was done I always found 
an opportunity to tell of the love of Jesus to those 
who knew Him not, and the Lord wonderfully 
blessed my poor efforts and crowned them with suc- 
cess, and thus I learned what a joy it is to be a "co- 
worker with God." 

My life was truly happy, and I looked forward to 
the time when I should be able to help supply some 
of the needs of the poor people who had become so 
dear to me. When my course was completed, I 
proudly received my diploma, still with no pros- 
pect of a position, as it was not an easy thing for 
a young woman to get a position, unless she had 
influential friends, and such I had not. My brother 
had been absent for several months, my money was 
nearly gone, and I sought in vain for a position. 

I earnestly prayed God to open the way for me; 
and though it sometimes seemed that my request 
was unheeded, yet I had learned by past experience 
to trust in Him, and believe that in His own good 
time He would answer. 



CHAPTER X. 

One Sunday morning my heart was heavy as I 
went to the house of God. All the money I pos- 
sessed was about ten cents, and I felt that I could 
give nothing to the church collection, for I should 
need that money for food on the morrow. 

In the afternoon the Young Women's Society 
held a service. One of our duties was to visit the 
sick, and the president usually appointed the dif- 
ferent visitors, assigning a certain sick person to 
a member. One of the oldest members of the church 
(an aged lady) had been an invalid for several 
years. All the other members had been to see her, 
and I had dreaded the thought of going because I 
was so poor. But on this Sunday I had not given 
the matter a thought, until to my surprise and dis- 
appointment the president asked me if I would visit 
that sick lady during the week. I had not the cour- 
age to refuse, though I knew that I must go to her 
empty handed, and the visitor usually took to the 
sick room fruit, flowers, or some other delicacy. 

I wondered what I could do about it, until it oc- 
curred to me to go that day, as on the Sabbath we 
never made purchases and I would have a very 
good excuse for not bringing anything. 

It was a long distance and I was very tired for 
I had walked twice to the church, which was a dis- 



124 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

tance of three miles each way. We never thought 
of riding on the cars on Sunday; and even had I 
wished to do so it would have not been possible, for 
I could not have afforded the carfare. 

As I slowly walked along the streets my atten- 
tion was attracted to a fruit stand on which were 
displayed some beautiful oranges. They were then 
very expensive on account of their scarcity at that 
time of the year, but as I looked at them, great was 
my desire to purchase some for the poor sick 
woman. Almost before I knew what I was doing 
I held two oranges in my hands and all my money 
was gone. 

The thought flashed into my mind, "You have 
broken the Sabbath by buying the fruit." Then 
came another thought, "What will become of me? 
I shall have nothing to eat to-morrow, for I have 
spent my last cent." For a few moments I was 
tempted to return the fruit; but soon the tempta- 
tion passed and I proceeded on my way. 

When I entered the sick room and saw the old 
lady lying there, her body racked with pain, I for- 
got my weariness and was glad that I had come to 
speak a few words of comfort and cheer. I laid the 
oranges on the bed. She at once reached for the 
bag; and when she saw the contents, how her face 
lighted up with pleasure! She was so eager for 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 125 

them that she took one out of the bag and began 
to eat it without stopping to peel it. 

Then she burst into tears, took my hands in hers, 
and with uplifted eyes prayed, "I thank Thee, my 
heavenly Father, that Thou hast answered my 
prayer." For one week she had been praying that 
the Lord would sent her some oranges, for she was 
too poor to buy them and her daughter also had no 
money to spend on luxuries. She had at last given 
up hope, for she expected no visitors on Sunday. 

As I listened to her story, my heart was full of 
thanksgiving to my Father for permitting me to 
minister to one of His saints. I remembered the 
words of Jesus, "It is more blessed to give than to 
receive" (Acts, xx:35), and realized their truth, 
although I went without my breakfast the next 
morning. 

But God rewarded my confidence in Him, for on 
that same morning, a letter came to me asking me 
to accept a position as book-keeper at a very good 
salary. Never from that time have I been obliged 
to go without food for lack of means. 

For a year I remained in Berlin. Then came the 
sad news of my father's death. I decided to go 
home, knowing that since I had become of age no 
one could interfere with me. I started at once and 
arrived the day before my father's funeral. 



126 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

The watchers by the dead at first refused to allow 
me to enter the room ; but late that night after my 
mother, brothers and sister had retired I stole 
quietly into the room where the silent form of my 
father lay, and I was alone with the dead all 
through the long night, 

I thought of the past, how those closed eyes had 
once looked into mine with a father's tender love, 
those cold hands had been laid in blessing upon my 
head. I recalled how the love of a father had been 
changed into hatred and his blessing into a bitter 
curse, because of my having given up the faith of 
my fathers to become a follower of the despised 
King of the Jews. 

On the following day the funeral took place. My 
mother, brothers and sister, according to Jewish 
custom, rent their clothes, while I stood alone with 
tearless eyes, having no part in the services. One of 
the devout Jews, upon seeing me standing near the 
door, rushed up, took me by the arm, and pulled me 
towards the coffin, screaming in my ear, "Look, 
you turncoat, upon that silent face and remember 
that this is your work. You have killed your father, 
have brought down his gray hairs to the grave !" 

The coffin was covered, the pall bearers carried 
it out and bore him to the grave, and I followed 
last of all. 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 127 

That afternoon immediately after the burial I 
took the train for the next station, where I was met 
by friends whom I had notified of my coming. 

How lonely seemed the days that followed ! Dur- 
ing the two days that I remained with my friends, 
the old conflict was renewed, and Satan whispered 
that it was better to return to the old life, that the 
price I was paying was too high, but oh, what vic- 
tory God did give in this hour of temptation, for as 
Paul declared, "Nay, in all these things we are more 
than conquerors through Him that loved us." 
(Romans, viii:37.) 

The third day I returned to Berlin. Meanwhile 
I had contracted a severe cold and for some time 
was very ill. In fact I have never fully recovered 
from the effects of that prolonged illness. 

As soon as I was able I resumed my work at the 
office, all my spare time being devoted to the Lord's 
work. Again my heart was turned toward the for- 
eign field, and towards Burmah in particular. With 
that end in view I worked and prayed, asking God 
to send me there. I spoke of my desires to my pas- 
tor and friends, and again they told me that I was 
not fitted for that work and advised me to stay in 
my own country doing what my hands found there 
to do. 

At first I was discouraged, and reluctantly gave 



128 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

up the thought of leaving my native land ; but there 
were many opportunities of speaking for Jesus 
among the thousands of unsaved souls in that city, 
and God abundantly blessed my efforts and gave me 
souls for my hire. 

Thus engaged, my life was very happy, and sev- 
eral busy years passed by. Nothing disturbed my 
communion with God and my daily work, and all 
was peaceful. I thought all my troubles were 
ended, and I was contented to settle down to work 
in my church district in Berlin, unmindful of the 
needs of my brethren, the Jews. But God had other 
plans for my life, which I was to see later. 

My mother has a brother in England, who has 
considerable wealth. When he learned that the 
children of his only sister had left the Jewish re- 
ligion and had become Christians, he believed it was 
only a question of money, and that he could win us 
back to Judaism by paying us a large sum of money. 
As he was visiting relatives in Berlin, he sought us 
out. We had never seen these relatives and they 
were unaware of my residence in the city, but my 
uncle had learned my address and had many in- 
terviews with me, always urging me to give up my 
faith and offering me large sums of money if I 
would do so. 

This caused me trouble; although, since I was 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 129 

now of legal age, I could claim the protection of 
the law. Yet I was continually harassed by his 
persuasions. One night while kneeling in prayer 
asking God to keep me from harm, the question 
came to me, "Why not go to America?" I had never 
thought of going to America until that moment ; but 
all that night I could think of nothing else, and be- 
fore the week was over, I had settled the matter in 
my own mind. I knew that I was to leave Germany, 
but did not speak of my purpose to any of my 
friends lest they should oppose the undertaking. 

A niece of Mrs. Deike's whom I had known, had 
gone to America some years previous to this time, 
and was now living in Oak Park, near Chicago. 
As I had her address I made all my arrangements 
to go to her. At the end of a fortnight my prepa- 
rations were completed, and I informed my friends 
of the plans. They were much astonished, and 
most strongly opposed me, my pastor saying, "You 
are sinning against God, for He has given you work 
to do where 3 f ou are, and He can protect you from 
your enemies just as well in Berlin as in America." 

I could only say in reply, "I know He can, but I 
am not sure that He will, for I believe that He is 
calling me to America." 

Not one favored my going, but it was too late to 
turn back, for my trunks were packed and my ticket 



130 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 



bought. I did not realize how great an undertaking 
it was for a girl to go alone to a new country, know- 
ing nothing about the trip, and with no friends 
there to care for her. 

But trusting only in my loving Heavenly Father, 
in the latter part of May, 1889, 1 left for America. 
It was very hard to tear myself away from the lov- 
ing friends. The loneliness did not seem so great 
while on the train, but out on the great ocean, my 
heart was heavy when I heard other passengers 
talking about friends whom they expected to meet, 
and the joy of meeting loved ones. 

I was almost overpowered by the same sense of 
fear and desolation which came over me, for no 
one would be there to meet me, and I was going to 
seek a mere acquaintance who might not even re- 
member me. One day, while feeling the loneliness 
of it all as never before, I sat on deck and breathed 
out this prayer : 



Jesus, Lover of my soul, 
Let me to Thy bosom fly, 

While the nearer waters roll, 
|While the tempest still is high ; 

Hide me, O my Saviour, hide, 
Till the storms of life are past ; 

Safe into the haven guide, 
Oh, receive my soul at last. 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 131 

Other refuge have I none, 

Hangs my helpless soul on Thee ; 
Leave, oh, leave me not alone, 

Still support and comfort me ; 
All my trust on Thee is stayed, 

All my help from Thee I bring ; 
Cover my defenceless head 

With the shadow of Thy wing. 

I was not alone, He was with me and I was con- 
scious of His presence. 

We were twelve days on the ocean, reaching Bal- 
timore on a beautiful Sunday morning in June. 
We landed, and I stood for a time with the same old 
feeling of loneliness and helplessness, then I started 
down a street, where I could see the people passing 
to and fro, speaking a language unfamiliar to my 
ears, for I could neither speak nor understand any 
English. A deep realization came to me of the 
meaning of the words, "A stranger, in a strange 
land/ 7 for such I was, and the cry went up from my 
heart, "Why, O Lord, had I come to a strange 
land? Why could I not have found rest and peace 
in my own land?" 

In my perplexity I heard God's loving word, "Be 
strong and of good courage; be not afraid, 
neither be thou dismayed; for the Lord thy God is 
with thee whithersoever thou goest." (Josh. i:9.) 
The message brought such peace and rest to my soul 
that all fear departed, and that afternoon I joy- 



132 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

fully boarded the train for Oak Park. On my ar- 
rival I was gladly received by Mrs. Deike's niece, 
who recognized me at once; and to my great joy I 
learned that the friends who had first given me 
shelter, when I left my home years before, were now 
living in Chicago. With gratitude and joy we re- 
counted God's gracious dealings with us through 
all those years. 

I was delighted with my new surroundings. God 
gave me many kind friends and I entered heartily 
into the new life. My old desire for mission work 
was revived, and again I prayed that I might go to 
Burmah, and when I spoke to the German pastor 
about it he greatly encouraged me in my hopes. 
But this was not the Lord's will. "His thoughts are 
not our thoughts, neither are His ways our ways." 
(Isaiah lv:8.) 

I had been in Oak Park about three weeks when 
I was invited to attend a meeting in the interest 
of Jewish mission work, at the home of Mrs. T. C. 
Bounds. Mr. and Mrs. Angel from the Chicago 
Hebrew Mission were present. I spoke in German, 
and Mr. Angel translated my words into English. 
He told me that the friends of Israel had been pray- 
ing that God would convert a Jewess, who would 
go among the women and children of her own people 
and tell them of the love of Jesus. "Now," he said, 



DRIVEN FROM HOME. 133 

"God has answered our prayer, by sending us a 
Christian Jewess, though not one converted through 
our instrumentality. Will you come and work with 
us for the salvation of the Jews?" 

I replied, "No, I will not. I am going to tell the 
poor heathen in Burmah of the love of Jesus." 

He looked at me with sadness, and said, "You 
want to go to a strange land and a strange people, 
and let your own people perish?" 

"Yes," I said, "Let them die. They don't deserve 
anything else." 

Before leaving the house he invited me to the 
Mission, and I promised to attend. About a week 
later, I visited South Halsted street one Saturday 
afternoon; and as I walked through that locality 
and saw men, women and children hurrying along, 
it seemed that every face spoke a reproach to me. 
My conscience reproved me, and I knew that it was 
my duty to go with the Gospel of Jesus Christ to 
my own people, the people of God's own choosing. 

I then and there promised the Lord to work 
among the Jews, if He would open the way. In His 
own way, He at last led me to take up my life work 
in His Vineyard. 

In 1890 I entered the Baptist Missionary Train- 
ing School in Chicago, and in June, 1892, was grad- 
uated from that institution. In October of the 



134 DRIVEN FROM HOME. 

same year I began work among the Hebrews 
in New York, under the auspices of the Women's 
Home Missionary Society, where I remained 
for several years. God wonderfully blessed 
His own work, undertaken in His name. Many 
thousands heard the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and 
some precious souls were saved. I have the assur- 
ance of my God that I am in His will, and gladly 
go forward in my work, "Looking unto Jesus, the 
author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy 
that was set before Him endured the cross, despis- 
ing the shame, and is set down at the right hand of 
God." (Heb. xii:2.) 




N1AH2I 1905 



